The Odd Couple

Monday was a mess. All I did was worry about seeing Mark in lab. All day. That’s literally every thought that consumed me. I didn’t even really give much thought to the fact that Kenny was sitting in my dorm, doing his homework, eating my food. I could have really cared less about that. Which what the hell, Ken?!

Kenny just showed up out of nowhere. Honest to God, NO WHERE! After I pulled myself together, we sat and talked. Apparently his mom had been in touch with my mom recently (they joined an Essential Oils group—can’t make this stuff up, y’all) and she had said what fun I was having and how well things were with my new boyfriend. He had no idea that we weren’t together anymore. I was just super lucky that he showed up the same day I got dumped.

“Kathleen, look, I know I’ve been a jerk. I know I wasn’t always the greatest to you, but I think you’re the one for me. When I was with Susanna, it just wasn’t the same. She constantly nagged me. She begged me to do things for her. She wasn’t happy just being with me and me loving her. You were.”

I scoffed. “So, you want me back because I’m a cheap date?”

“God! No! You can be so difficult when you’re nervous or upset.” He had a point. The more upset I was, the more disagreeable I became. I guess dating me for 5 years did give him a bit of an inside look at my psyche. “Like that time we were just SO sure you were pregnant only a few weeks after our first time.” He laughed.

It was really dumb. I wasn’t even late. But as a 16 year old, I knew that sex made babies. I had made sex, so I was definitely making a baby. I was on the pill and he used a condom. There was really no reason to even suspect I was carrying a baby. But I just knew it. And I was inconsolable. That only made Kenny more upset. It was a wreck of a day until we convinced his cousin Micah to get a pregnancy test for us. Because, heaven forbid either of us be seen at the 7-11 clear across town buying a test.  We reminisced about our younger, more dumb days.

I had moved, and was sitting beside him. And my pose was much less hostile that it had previously been. He pushed his forehead against mine. It was a thing we used to do. He breathed in heavily. “You smell just like you did the day you broke my heart...” And he leaned in and kissed me. I was such a wreck; I didn’t even try to stop him. We kissed well into the wee hours of the morning. We were just getting reacquainted. Talking and cuddling in-between kissing and hugging.

When it came time to me to leave for class, he said he wanted to take me out that night before he left town. Only in the daylight did this coupling seem odd. Only once the sun was shining did I realize that I had probably done a dumb thing. But, I had bigger fish to fry. Like what I was going to do when Mark and I were sharing graduated cylinders, Bunsen burners, and beakers.

I coerced Ashley into eating lunch with me. Mainly because I knew she wouldn’t hound me like Ree or Yvonne would have. Had I asked either of them, they would have made me look at the deeper issues, and I sure as hell wasn’t in the mood for that. I really did need to catch up with them though. Ashley told me that Chet and Ree finally fleshed everything out and things were going easy. I felt like a bad friend, I didn’t even know. Ashley was officially Rich’s girlfriend. I knew that, but we hadn’t celebrated with ridiculous squeals and insane amounts of gushing that it warranted. I sent them both a text and told them that on Tuesday we would have dinner and they were going to update me on everything. I obviously invited Ashley, but as always—Volleyball.

With a pit in the bottom of my stomach, I approached the lab with an intense sense of dread. How was I supposed to look him in the eye? How was I supposed to focus on whatever was happening? How was I going to do all this while knowing Kenny sat in my room not a stone’s throw away? I sat down at my assigned station and looked around with wonder. I’d beaten him in. That was at least promising. He was entering my turf. I was nodding, assuring myself I could do this, when the professor walked up. “Kathleen?” His voice was generous and a bit sad.

“Yes?” I asked with worry. His face gave me a hint of some awful news to come.

“Mark sent an email saying his father was admitted back into the hospital and he wouldn’t make it to lab. I’m going to group you up over with the girls across the table, Heather and Jaqueline.”

My mouth dropped and my face went pale. His dad. Of course he didn’t call me. Oh my gosh. I couldn’t focus. “I, I think the lunch... I’m going to be sick...” I bolted to the bathroom to throw up. I hated when that happened. I got so anxious that I made myself throw up. I gathered myself enough to go back to my room.

Kenny was waiting blissfully when I opened the door. I began to cry. He took me into his arms and he held me while I cried. I couldn’t compose myself by the time he needed to leave, so he called Yvonne from my phone to come sit with me. He didn’t know why I was so rattled, but he didn’t feel comfortable leaving me alone.

When she entered she told me everything. Mark’s dad’s bleed started hemorrhaging again, but there was nothing serious. She hadn’t told me, because she didn’t know if I wanted to know. I understood her stance. After she updated me, I went to the convenience store and got the biggest container of gummies they had—okay, I got two. And she told me all about Rich. He’s even more adorable than I ever imagined. I was so happy for her. And her happiness helped my sadness dissipate. If only a little. I still didn’t leave my room until Thursday, when I packed up my weekend bag, and drove for home. Where my mom, dad, and Kenny agreed to dote over me all weekend.

Who Invited You?

I stayed with Ginny that night. I felt awful, she cancelled dinner with some of her friends to stay in with me. We were not the closest of cousins, so it was strange how she was seeing me so vulnerable.

“Do you think this is for the best?” She asked as we were watching Gypsy Weddings.

“I don’t know. I guess I made my bed and I need to lie in it. I’ll figure something out...” Just then my phone rang. Yvonne. “Hello?” I answered shyly.

“Kathleen! Where are you? Mark just called Rich and told him everything. Are you okay?”

I started crying again. “I don’t know. I’m at my cousins... I think I just need some time to myself tonight. Do you mind picking me up tomorrow?”

“Sure thing. We can have brunch at Silvertron.”

After that, Ginny handed me another glass of wine. “Do you want to talk about any of it?” I shook my head. “Okay. Then I will tell you all about my friend group drama, because my god do I need some advice.” She then told me all about how they threw a surprise party for one of their friends only to have the guest of honor back out to go hang out with her coworkers and it’s thusly caused a rift. I was thankful for the reprieve from my own drama.

While Ginny was having her monologue about her crappy friends, I got a text.

Thanks for sitting with us today. We hope you’ll be at the house for the welcome home party tomorrow! Have fun on your date. Who am I kidding? I know you two are having a good time!

That set me off. Mrs. Hart’s text was totally unexpected and it broke my façade. “His mom just sent me this...” I shoved the phone in her hand unable to get much more out. Ginny read it, took my phone and turned it off.

“Okay, it’s bed time. Come on, we can watch Real Housewives in my bed.” And we did just that with no more talking needed.

When I woke up, I took a shower. I figured it was probably around 9 or 10. When I looked at Ginny’s clock, it said 8:15. I hated my inability to sleep in when I was upset. After I got ready, I found my phone and text Yvonne that I was ready to leave whenever, but I wasn’t in a hurry.

Ginny made us some coffee. “You can keep those yoga pants-they don’t fit me right anymore. They look better on you. And I was meaning to give you that Beta shirt a while ago.” Luckily Ginny and I were of a similar build. Well, all the women in our family were. So I had something else to wear besides my date-wear.

“Thanks.” I said meekly. “For everything.” I wiped away the lone falling tear.

“No. Stop it. It was nothing.” She smiled this pitiful smile. “You’re going to be okay. Just focus on Beta and school.”

I nodded. “I will.” I had strong resolve to do just that.

At brunch, Yvonne had brought Ree along. Everyone kind of just egg-shelled around me. No one wanted to say anything, but they also wanted to say everything.

After a few minutes of feeling weird, like a zoo animal on display, I spilled it. “So last night we were at dinner...” And I just told them everything, from him telling me how great I was, to me crying and running away, and then calling Ginny in tears after seeing him speed by.

Ree didn’t try to hide her shock as much as Yvonne did. “Wow,” was all she could say though.

“You’re telling me.” I bobbed my head in agreement.

The girls, much to their chagrin, left me to be by myself for a while. I cried, yelled into my pillow, sobbed, and called my mom. Mom didn’t say much. She never did in these situations. Kenny and I broke up a lot, and she knew better than to say unsavory things about the guy only to be eating her words later. But, what she didn’t know was that this felt final.

I got a knock on my door a bit later. I had really lost track of time. I figured it was one of the girls coming to check in on me, so I didn’t try to make myself look better. I’m sure I was a ruddy faced, puffy eyed, snotty mess. Only when I opened the door, it wasn’t anyone I was ever expecting.

I stammered, trying to wipe my face to look somewhat more presentable. “Uhh, Ken-uh, what are you doing here? How did you? Wow.” Smooth, Kathleen.

He smirked. “Aren’t you going to let me in? I did just drive all the way from Oxford to see you...”

“Oh! Sorry!” I snapped out of my haze. Somewhat. I offered him the bed to sit on. I sat on Candace’s (wait! Where is she? Ugh... whatever). “So, what brings you to Birmingham?” I offered after an awkward silence.

“I missed you.” He shrugged his shoulders pathetically.

I audibly laughed. And then slapped my face with both hands. “Sorry.” I shook my head. Trying to get a clear mind. It wasn’t going super well. Obviously. But I got out a coherent sentence. “Well this is a surprise.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Last week my mom sent me some picture frames with old pictures in them for my new apartment- I just moved at the beginning of the semester, and you were in a lot of them. And I kept thinking about you. And thinking about us. Kathleen, can we try to sort things out?”

I just fell into a ball of messy, ugly, hiccup-ridden sobs.

Goodnight

Friday I went a bit AWOL and fled to my Aunt Mary’s house in need of serious retreat. I told my friends and Mark that I promised to spend the day with her, but honestly I just need to detox from the chaos that was my life.

Mary was like the fun, wild, goofy aunt. Even with her own kids, Fran, Ginny, and Vince, she was very chill. Not that my parents were strict on me, but she took laid back to a whole different level.

I sat on her couch watching Housewives while Uncle Wayne was in the kitchen making popcorn. Mary looked at me intently. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”

I looked at her weakly before my eyes filled with tears. “I’m just so worn out. School, pledgeship, Mark, his dad. I’m tired.”

She got up from her recliner and came over to me. She rubbed my back. “It’s hectic, I know.” She just shushed me and stroked my back and played with my hair. Wayne came in at that time. I heard Mary tell him to go walk the dogs and leave the popcorn.

After a few minutes she let me go. “So, what are we going to do? Let’s start with the easiest thing... Pledgeship.”

I nodded. “I missed two meetings. I’m just worr-“ She cut me off.

“Your boyfriend’s dad almost died. No one is counting you absence. I’m on the council that monitors that. We haven’t even brought it up. We are very sympathetic. You have been to more than we anticipated. Just do what you can. We’ll work it out. You know it. Now, school—you just do that. No discussion there. So, that’s just making time. You’re bright I have no worries. Okay, the fuzzy things come up now...”

I nodded. “I know this sounds immature, but it’s hard for me to see Mark so wracked. He’s broken. And it bothers me. Because he’s supposed to be the strong boy handling things. And I can’t say that without being a butt head.”

She sighed. “I know. Look, do you love Mark and do you want to be there for him?”

“I do. But to what end? I know I love him and want him to be happy. But what happened to my happiness? And what qualities I think I need in a mate. I need someone strong, and after this, I’m not sure he’s it.”

Mary balked. “Like Kenny was some strong Hercules?”

I shot her a mean look. “That’s not relevant.”

She gave me an even meaner look. “Yes, it is. You say you want a strong man’s man. But you like guys who are sweet and tender. You can’t have both. You’re being unfair. I don’t care which one you want, but you have to pick one. One person cannot be all the things you’ve ever wanted in the world. It’s about finding someone who makes your life better than it already is.”

She was right and I knew it. I hugged her, ate a handful of popcorn, and went to bed. I wanted to be well rested for my date with Mark the following night. I needed to think and digest what I wanted.

Mark dropped me off at my dorm to get ready after we spent the afternoon with his dad. His father was getting released on Sunday if all went well, so we were all in high spirits at the hospital. We now saw light at the end of the tunnel.

After I showered, curled my hair, did my makeup and put on a chiffon top with jeans, he was calling me saying he was ready to leave. We didn’t talk much in the car. I felt weird, knowing I’d told my aunt I wasn’t sure what I wanted in terms of him any longer.

He took me to the Tavern at the Summit. We sat down at our intimately lit table and he smiled at me brightly. “You’ve been awesome through all this. I love you.”

I wasn’t expecting him to do that and I kind of cringed. Knowing I hadn’t been as awesome as he thought. “No, don’t mention it.” I said like I had something sour in my mouth.

He cocked his head to the left. “Come on... Out with it.”

I took in what I could imagine was all the air in the entire room. “I just... this whole thing has... I’m scared.”

He looked at me dumbly. “Of course! We are in our cars every day. And it’s hard to believe that in an instant it could alter us forever.”

Oh Lord. He totally took that the wrong way. “That’s not, I didn’t quite—“ I stammered. I took a moment and finally compiled my thoughts. “It made me scared about our future.” His face fell. “I didn’t know if we could weather this. Or any other thing. When it’s not all roses and sunshine, are we really cut out for this? Can we do this thing together?” I didn’t mean to keep going... It just came out. All of it.

“I see...” He said that as soon as our server brought our meals. He prodded at his steak with his fork. “So, do you care to share your findings?” His voice was full of hate.

I looked around, trying to survey if we were making a scene. To me it felt like all eyes were on us, but I’m sure no one actually gave us a second glance. “I love you. You are the sweetest, most thoughtful, careful, generous man.” I gathered my composure. “But, I wonder if we aren’t both weak. It took all I had to be strong for you this past week. When you would cry in my arms at night, I would cry after you fell asleep. I was exhausted. And you just kept being so vulnerable. And it made it so hard.”

He laughed an evil, mean, spiteful laugh. One I’d never heard. And one that honestly frightened me. “Oh, excuse me for being upset that I did not know if my father was going to live through the night. Forgive me for being upset that my mother’s guilt was eating her alive. I’m sorry that I was afraid of this thing I transport myself and the girl I love in might find fault and take us, or god forbid her, away. I’m really sorry that was such a God damn drag for you! What a shitter, right?” He was raising his voice.

I started to cry. I couldn’t be in there anymore. The walls were caving in on me. I felt confined. I jumped up, grabbed my bag, and calmly walked out the door, then started to sprint around the parking lot. I ran as far as I could, and then walked in Barnes and Noble. I surveyed the fiction section, only to realize I might need to work on finding a ride home. Ginny lived in the apartments in The Summit, so I called her as I walked out of the store.

As I paced, I saw Mark’s car speed past. He had called twice, but I ignored it. Before I could hit send on the call to Ginny I got a text from Mark.

You are so selfish. And what sucks is all I can think about is making sure you get home safe. So, as mad as I am, please just let me know when you make it in.

Not two seconds after, I got another. Before I lose my nerve... this is over. After I know you make it home okay, never contact me again. I can’t bear this anymore.

I began to sob.

I’ve already called Yvonne. Goodnight.

I dialed Ginny. She picked up quickly. “Hey baby girl! Need some booze for tonight?” She laughed.

I began to hiccup in sobs. “I’m...I’m...I need you to get me.”

Love and Friendship

Mrs. Hart, Leslie and I were sitting in the cafeteria of the hospital about three days after the accident. Mr. Hart was on the mend, but he was still in critical care. I am no medical genius, but I knew that a when someone had internal bleeding and liver damage, things could get ugly quickly. Luckily, they had found the bleed early, and stopped it quickly. The liver thing was a bit touchier. I don’t know what the whole ideal was, but he was recovering from some symptoms of jaundice. His color was returning and he looked less like a carrot. Honestly, the best thing was his spirit. He did not seem down at all considering...

“Mrs. Hart, do you want anything? A coffee? Tea? Water?” I felt helpless, but wanted to help.

“Kathleen, sweetie, you’ve asked me 4 times since we sat down at this table 15 minutes ago. I’m fine.” She was annoyed, but she grinned. She knew it came from a sweet place.

Leslie gave me a weak smile. “Mom, don’t feel guilty. I can see it on your face. This isn’t your fault.”

Then, for the first time since we’d gotten there, Mrs. Hart lost her cool. She bawled. She wracked her whole body in big, ugly, crocodile tears. This, this I could handle. This was what I expected.

She croaked. “Girls...” She sobbed again. “He called me moments before. I yelled at him for making dinner cold. I told him he loved those men at the country club more than me. I was mad. So mad. And that could have been the last memory we had...” She cried again.

Leslie began to speak, but I stopped her. “Mrs. Hart, I’ve known you for very little time at all, and what I know is that you and your husband love each other. I know you’ve got countless happy, angry, sad, hopeful, hopeless, joyful, and scary memories with your husband. I also know he wouldn’t trade any of it. You are what I hope to have. I hope one day that I find a man who makes me the strong woman you are. You are blessed, and for that you should be thankful. For his health you should be thankful. For his life, your children, your home, your happiness, you should be thankful.”

She hugged me in the sweetest, most sincere way. Just then Luke walked in with Mark. Mark nudged me. “I need to get this lady back to school. She certainly wouldn’t tell you, but she’s got a test tomorrow.”

Mrs. Hart looked horrified that I’d spent the last six hours with her instead of studying. “It’s art history... I can BS it if I need to.” I winked at her. My attention shifted to Leslie. “Call me if you need me. I’m going to chapter tomorrow, and I’ll email you the minutes, OK? Oh! That reminds me! Mrs. Hart, my pledge class wanted to cook you and Mr. Hart dinner when you got back home. Please send me a list of your allergies. I know you’re allergic to strawberries, but I can’t remember the other stuff.”

She nodded, and Mark scooped me off before I could even bother with a proper goodbye. I cocked my head at him, somewhat angrily. “What’s with all the shoving, Pushy?”

He sweetly held my hand. “I heard the sweet things you said to my mom and I wanted to show you how much I appreciated it. And I figured jumping your bones in the hospital cafeteria was poor form. So, I’ll do that when I get to the car...” He winked.

“I do need to study. How about Saturday we spend the day with your parents, and that night I take you out for a fancy dinner. Just you and me. And we can do stuff you want, like play cards, and talk about the Dodgers or whatever." He wasn’t a Dodgers fan, but I was just letting him know we could do whatever he wanted.

He laughed. “Wow. My girlfriend doesn’t even know I’m a Giants fan...”

I made a weird face and then grinned. “I love you despite your inequities.” He play punched me.

That night I studied with Yvonne in the library. She had a psychology midterm. She and Rich were so consumed with being “boyfriend and girlfriend” that I hadn’t seen her in a while. I missed our nights in. Harriett was kind of back and forth, and I couldn’t keep up with her saga with Chet, so I just waited for her to say stuff to me about him. I stopped asking when I asked how the butthead was, and she told me they were working on things. What was to work on? He was a snob.

Yvonne told me while we were studying that she and Rich still hadn’t consummated their relationship. I just assumed they had since she’d been staying over at his place pretty frequently. She said she was holding out until he said, “I love you.” I told her that was her prerogative and I was proud of her for keeping up her standards. I couldn’t do it though. Some guys never said I love you. She could be waiting FOREVER!

Before we left the library to go take a nap (it was 3am and we both had our tests at 9:30) she asked about Mark’s dad and how Mark was holding up. I certainly wasn’t going to tell her that he wracked himself to sleep with tears the first few nights or that he had nightmares constantly of car crashes and that he now drove 15 miles below the speed limit at all times. He would be embarrassed if people knew. I said he was coping. But honestly, it was taking a toll on me. I was exhausted. I love him. A lot. But it’s hard to be the rock. It’s hard to have your boyfriend so shaken up. He’s supposed to be the strong one. And now that he isn’t, I’m a butthead for not being understanding. I play this out in my head. And I always end up the jerk. The only solution I can come up with where I’m not going to end up as a total ass clown is me suggesting therapy to grieve his dad’s injuries and overcome his fear. But even then, it still might make me out to be a jerk...

Whatever, I’ve got Rococo artists to worry about. I can deal with a moody boyfriend later. I hope.

Crash Into Me

Harriet got home the next day and it was awful. She moped all day. It was just me on the patch and repair squad, because Yvonne had stayed with Rich (more on that) and Ashley was away at a tournament.

We were sitting in her room watching TV, probably Housewives if we are being serious... And she just kept sighing and stuffing her face with mac and cheese.

Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer. “So what did Chet do?” I was over being delicate. I met my quota.

She rolled her eyes. “So it started when we first got there. He showed me where to put my stuff; we were staying in the master bedroom. I sat down on the bed as I was separating my bathroom stuff from my clothes. He walked in from the bathroom and just kisses my cheek and then walks off. Doesn’t say anything.”

I was confused. I don’t see this behavior as odd, but who am I to judge? “Oh...” I said as she was clearly waiting for a response.

“So then I take a nap because we were the only ones there and I wanted to be rested up. So he comes back in and wakes me up and asks what’s going on and if I want to go help him in the kitchen. I got up and he then said that we needed to start making jello shots. I obliged. But he kept making mean comments about how incompetent I was at.”

“Yikes.” And then things got progressively worse. He ignored her when she would ask questions. She went to sit beside him and he told her that he was busy talking to his friends. And when she went to bed he didn’t even offer to go with her. Then the next day he asked if she was “on the rag” because she was being moody.

“I’m sorry, Ree. Look, we won’t dwell on this. Let’s go get froyo and go to Theta tonight. They’re having a band. It’ll be fun!”

She agreed quickly. I was thankful, I really wanted froyo. I called Mark and told him to have an arsenal of his buddies ready to hit on Ree when she walked in. He laughed, but he knew to do it. I updated Yvonne and she agreed to come out for froyo with us.

Later, after a few drinks and dinner, we got ready to head out to Theta. Mark was at the front making sure that the people trying to get in were on the list. I was hoping he didn’t have to do this all night, but what could I do. Leslie saw us shortly after we entered and took us up to Luke’s room. Yvonne, Harriett and I did shots with Leslie and few other upperclassmen. By then Ree had this weird look on her face.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Chet asked me to stop by Lambda Phi and talk to him.”

I nodded. “Okay, be smart. I know you want to.” And with that she skipped off, and I went to find Mark while Yvonne and Rich were making out.

As I walked down the stairs, I saw Gwen in the hallway. She gave me such a mean face, and I couldn’t figure out why. We hadn’t seen Gwen in a few weeks, but she hadn’t made much of an effort, so I just assumed she found new friends. But she looked really put off. I let it roll off my back as I saw my handsome man mixing a drink.

“For me?” I asked coyly. He handed it to me and began making another for himself.

We finally made it to the party room, and we were there for about two hours until I started to get really sleepy. Mark could tell I was worn out.

“Come on, I’ll take you to bed.”

“Can you? Do you need to be here?”

“I need to escort a drunk, pretty girl to my room.” He pecked my cheek and we began walking back to his dorm.

When we reached his door, he whispered in my ear, “I’ve got a surprise for you.” I had a sneaking suspicion I knew what it was, but I wasn’t going to turn down sex.

As we walked in, I saw a small vase of calla lilies, and a small gift box. I got puppy eyes and looked at him. “What is this?”

“Our first date was two months ago. I just wanted you to know that I love you.” I kissed him something fierce. It was so thoughtful. I didn’t even know we’d been seeing each other that long. I really struck gold with him.

He handed me the small box and I opened it carefully. I opened the box and sitting in a beautiful velvety box was a pair or diamond teardrop earrings.

“Mark, this is too much!” I hugged him and kissed his neck.

He giggled. “No worries, they were my ex-girlfriend’s. She gave them back after we broke up.”

My eyes bugged out in horror. “I, uhh...”

He cracked up, “It’s a joke. Come here.” He pulled me into him and then helped me put on the earrings. He kissed my neck, my shoulder, my jaw. I was becoming jelly. I pushed him down on the bed. We quickly became a puddle of strewn clothes and bed sheets. As we were finally drifting to sleep he pulled me in and whispered, “I love you.”

And just then, there was a knock on the door. “Go away!” Mark yelled.

I heard sobs. “It’s... It’s Leslie. Please Mark!”

We shot up and got dressed, he opened the door. Leslie was a teary mess. Mark hugged her. “What did he do?” Mark said softly.

She took a big breath. “It’s Dad.” She composed herself. “He was in an accident. He’s at the hospital.” And then Mark fell to his knees in tears. I rushed up to him and hugged him. “Luke’s sister is coming to get us. Kathleen, please come. Mom would appreciate it.”

I nodded, and just like that we were in a car on the way to the hospital. And we've been here for days...

Word Vomit.

Friday night Mark asked me to bring Yvonne down to the Theta. Rich was getting some shit from the guys that his new lady-friend wasn’t coming around enough. I certainly wasn’t going to tell Yvonne that, but any excuse to drink beer and dance with Mark I would take.

I was dressed in skinny jeans, strappy sandals (because we can wear those until Halloween here), and a thick strapped, high-low tank top. I never liked to get too dressed up for these parties, because you never know who is going to spill Jungle Juice on you. Yvonne clearly didn’t take my easy-breezy-nice-and-easy approach to dressing for the row (the row is what you call all the fraternity houses collectively). She had on a pair of maroon denim leggings, a black blouse, insane amounts of jewelry. I needed to her cool it with the Yurman, otherwise she was going to make a spectacle of herself.

I tried to broach it easily, “Hey E, why don’t you just wear the pearl bracelet and the earrings. I think it makes a stronger statement alone. They are so pretty you’d hate for people not to notice.” She had on 3 other bracelets, a necklace, two rings, and earrings.

She laughed. “I’m going a bit overboard, aren’t I?”

I was afraid to answer that. “No! No! It’s just you’re going to the Theta house, and you’ll probably stay there... with any luck. So, don’t bring so much stuff that you have to collect in the morning.” I thought I handled that well!

She nodded. “Gosh, Kathleen, you’re right! You’re so much better at this stuff than me. The other night at dinner, Rich took me to FIVE, he was like telling me how he really liked me, but he wished I was less nervous.”

I tried to smile, but just couldn’t. “Look, he likes you. Stop trying to give him reasons not to. Now, take off everything except one bracelet and the earrings, and let’s go! I want to get drunk, and I just finished my last bit of rum!”

She laughed. “You mean you just finished my last bit of rum...” She shot me an accusing look, which I knew was just a joke.

As we walked in, Leslie spotted us. “Oh yay!! Do you have any other of your pledge sisters coming in tonight? The boys think your pledge class is adorable!” She was really drunk and talking quickly.

“Maybe!” I said brightly. “I’ll see if I can corral a few.”

She nodded and walked back to her beer pong game. Yvonne nudged me as she spotted Rich, and we walked his way. He wrapped us both up in a big hug. “There’s my girls! Hey, there are some cups and juice in the kitchen. I’ve got some liquor in my car, here are the keys. When you two come back I expect you to have full cups! You hear me?” I hugged him again and went to find Mark while Yvonne went in search of drinks with Rich’s keys.

I felt a tap on my shoulder as I was walking into the hallway. I spun around and was greeted by open arms from Mark. “Hey Sweetie!” He spoke loudly. He picked me up and twirled me around, causing a spectacle and garnering a few claps and snickers from his fraternity brothers.

“You’re in a good mood, buddy.” I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“You are now looking at the Theta Pledge Class President!” PCP wasn’t really an awesome job, and he knew that. But it was a good way to recognized and put on Executive Council after your pledgeship. Sadly, PCP mainly planned clean ups, scheduled mixers, and made sure that the pledges were on time to pledge meetings.

“Mark! That’s awesome!” I kissed his cheek again, and gave him a big hug. Just then Rich walked up behind us with Yvonne in tow.

“I was going to get on to you,” he began wagging his finger at me, “but I see you were canoodling. I can allow canoodling to overtake the instruction to get drinks.”

As if on command, Yvonne shoved a cup in my face. “I got you rum and pineapple juice. You’re welcome.” I hugged her and then Rich pretended to pout.

About that time my phone went off in my hand, and so did Yvonne’s. It was a group text to me, Yvonne, and Ashley from Ree.

You guys... This lake weekend BITES.

Oh Lord, I thought, as I took a big gulp of my drink. I looked at Yvonne with sympathetic eyes. She spoke up. “We will deal with her tomorrow. Tonight, I’m hanging out with my boyfr---“ She froze. She and Rich hadn’t had the whole “Are we or aren’t we?” talk yet. So she definitely jumped the gun. My eyes bugged out at looked at Mark. He swiftly grabbed my hand and took me to the living room far, far away out of hearing distance.

I cringed as we sat down. “How’s he going to hand this?”

He out my hand in his and put it on his lap. “Fine. He was going to talk to her about that tonight anyway. He’s been getting a lot of crap about not locking it down. Honestly, it probably made the segue easier for him. He’s lucky. I had struggle... If we recall.”

I nuzzled up into his neck. “I’m anything if I’m difficult. But I sure am cute!”

Just then, Luke came busting in. “PCP! Vomit in the girl’s room downstairs! Assemble a crew IMMEDIATELY!”

And that’s when I realized, this was actually going to suck...

Wiggity, wiggity, wiggity wack

 

Harriett, Ashley and I sat in their room feasting on gummy worms trying to come up with a plan for Ree and Chet.

“What if...” I spoke prematurely. “What if... you took him out to a fancy dinner and then brought him back here for a movie. Ashley can crash with me.”

“I could... It’s just a lame thing to offer up after he thinks he’s going to a formal.”

I was dejected. “Yeah.” I had asked Mark what he would want to do if my pledge party had been cancelled. He made some vulgar references to some acrobatic bed moves. I slapped him.

Ashley bolted up. “You guys are depressing me. I’ve got to go to conditioning. If you don’t have this figured out by the time I get back, I’ll combust!”

I also asked Yvonne, she just mumbled about how Rich would understand because he’s just  a total doll. I swear, she’s love sick. Bad. As Ree and I were sitting in silence, there was a knock at her door. We shared a confused glance while Ree stepped to the door.

“Oh, hey Chet.” She said mostly for my benefit. I took that as my cue to leave.

After I reached my room, Candace was nowhere to be found. She had casually mentioned some screening of some kind of French play or something somewhere downtown. I’m sure that’s where she was...

It was midday, and I was exhausted after not sleeping well the past few nights. I didn’t sleep all that great at Mark’s house, because parents. And I didn’t sleep much the next night because we were appropriately celebrating our exchange of “I love you.” And last night I had a paper to finish. I may have forgotten about it until the professor sent the class an email detailing how we were to submit the papers. Luckily I could take a nap before the dodge ball game I’d been asked to go to for Beta.

The dodge ball game was kind of boring. Beta shut out Alpha Delta. They didn’t win one of the three rounds. No surprise, as the signs say, “Betas are BALLERS!” Haha, I crack myself up.

Harriett text me during the game; she asked me to come over when I had a minute. After the match I headed over to her room. She was sitting on her bed reading an OK! when I walked in.

“Why do you insist on reading such crap?” I asked.

“Why do you insist on being such a kill joy?” She countered.

“Why do you insist on not telling me what happened with Sir Handsome this afternoon?”

She clapped frantically. “Ahhhh!” she wailed. “So, he came in. And I was trying to beat around the bush. And he was all ‘Oh, so sad news about the formal right?’ and I totally played dumb.” She was talking a thousand miles a second. I couldn’t get a word in had I wanted to. “And then he looked at me like I was stupid and told me he knew I had to know the party was cancelled, because all the ODPs got an email. I looked so stupid. So I just nodded and said that it sucked. Well! He then offered to take me to his lake house with some of his friends and their ODP girlfriends!” She yelped.

I hugged her. “Ree! That’s awesome! You’re going to have more fun than at a stupid dance! Who is going?”

“Two girls in my pledge class and then like 4 or 5 sophomore ODPs. He said he only asked guys in his fraternity that were seeing ODPs.”

“That was so nice of him! Y’all are going to have so much fun!” Just then, my phone buzzed. Candace.

Hey, there is some big package in here with your name on. Know anything about it?

Nope, I’ll be back in soon. Sorry.

I ran back to the room. What could she be talking about? What kind of package could I get?

On my bed sat a big box. Probably at least three feet wide and two feet tall. I opened it. And balloons flew out! How magical was this!!!

Inside were tons of Beta themes gifts. A card was situated at the bottom.

Kathleen,

Sorry for the scene. We’re usually not this obscene. I know you’ve been busy, but this gift is pretty nifty. You’re great, but my identity will have to wait...

Love, Your Anonymous Big Sister

All I could think was that this girl’s rhyming game was WEAK. But seriously, WHO IS SHE?!

Guess Who is Coming to Dinner

Harriett could not figure out how to tell Chet the bad news. However, I doubt she really had to tell him. News like a formal being cancelled traveled pretty quickly. He wasn’t dense.

The upperclassmen said they were still just going to go out that night to the same bar and treat it like a formal. Unfortunately, the bar was 21 and up. Neither Chet nor Ree were old enough to get in. And it was too late to look into getting a fake. I felt for her, I really did. Ashley said she’d been walking around in a funk for the past few days.

Mark’s parents had asked me over for dinner last night, and I was terribly nervous. Leslie, Luke, Mark and I were all going. I couldn’t imagine having to sit across from Luke while he knew I told his girlfriend he sucked. Luckily, we didn’t have to ride over with them. Leslie and Luke went to a soccer game across town; one of Luke’s pledge brothers was on the soccer team. Mark and I were sitting on the bed as I was dumbly playing with my hair while he searched for his keys and left shoe.

He looked at me kind of aggravated, “Kathleen, some help might be nice.” He shook his head at me.

I snapped out of my trance. “Sorry, what are we looking for?”

He sighed. “You know what? Never mind. If you don’t want to go, just stay here.” His tone was fierce.

He had never been so short with me. And it really took me by surprise. I don’t know what came over me, but tears welled up in my eyes. “I, uh okay. I’ll see you... later?” Luckily I hadn’t started actually crying, I just had blurry vision.

He stopped. “Hey, look.” His tone was nicer, but still not soft. “Let’s just find my shoe and my keys. Then we can go to dinner.”

I was still kind of dejected. “Yes, sir.”

He stopped looking around. He tilted his head. “I’m sorry I snapped. Don’t call me sir. Now, can we please get ready to go?” His eyes were apologetic.

I nodded. As I stood up, we realized I was sitting on his keys, and his shoe was stuffed under the edge of the bed behind my foot. “Oops?” I said stupidly.

He laughed. “God! If you weren’t the best thing ever, I’d hurt you.” I was glad he was starting to get out of his bad mood.

As we drove up to his parents’ house, I was blown away. They lived in an older neighborhood that had totally renovated homes. The houses were situated on large lots, for Birmingham standards. However, I could tell parking was at a premium, as lots of cars were situated on the street precariously.

We drove up to Mark’s parents’ front door by way of a circle drive. They had a large wrap around porch. Grey-white brick with a maroonish-brown color on the shutters. Two stories, or it appeared, based on the three dormers above the porch.

Mrs. Hart ran out to greet us. “I heard the car! I am so happy you’re here!” She hugged me before she could get to Mark. As we walked up to stairs to the front door, she finally hugged her son.

“Thank you for having me, Mrs. Hart. Your house is beautiful.”

“Oh thank you, dear. I’ll have to show you my Beta room after dinner!”

I nodded, “That’d be great!”

Mr. Hart was sitting at the bar in the kitchen drinking a glass of white wine. “Well, well, well, who figured Mark would beat Luke to a table of food?”

We all laughed. Mrs. Hart looked at me, “When Leslie and Luke first began eating, he’d come over at least twice a week to raid my pantry. He’s certainly not a bashful eater.”

Mark kissed my cheek, “This one eats pretty good, too.”

I was mortified. He kissed me, and told them I ate a lot! I turned bright red and began to choke on air. Only making this embarrassing moment that much worse. “I, uh, I, do, I guess I eat.” I mumbled out in between coughs.

Mark tried his hardest to stifle a laugh. He got me a glass of water. “Sorry,” he mouthed with his back to his parents.

As if on cue, Luke and Leslie walked in. I was glad to be out of this mess. Shortly after we sat down to eat. Mr. Hart gave us all a glass of chardonnay. I didn’t fight it. Mrs. Hart made a really tasty pot roast with mashed potatoes, green beans, and carrots. Mark must have tipped her off that pot roast is my all-time favorite food.

Luke was really well behaved and didn’t seem to be mad at me, which I was thankful for. Leslie was telling me about what would happen in the next week’s new member meeting, and how in three weeks we’d go to our first chapter meeting.

By the time we finished dinner, Mark had 3 glasses of wine and one whiskey neat. I was trying to figure out how we were going to get back to school. Luke and Leslie were in a similar predicament. I was also in no shape to drive after my 3 glasses of wine.

After dinner, we sat down in the living room and had Baileys and ice cream. Still not helping this whole sobriety to drive situation. I started nodding off around 10pm, what with all the drinks. Luke looked at Leslie, “Hey sweetheart, you ready to head upstairs to bed?” That statement bolted me wide awake.

She nodded and then he held her hand and walked her into her bedroom which I presumed to be upstairs. I was very confused as to how this was happening. My parents would have never allowed my boyfriend to spend the night at my house. Hell, Kenny had tried once and it was a total mess. More on that later...

Mark kicked his shoulder up that I was leaned up on, “Come on, let’s get you to bed, too. I can’t have you sleeping on the couch and complaining of a sore neck tomorrow.”

Mrs. Hart looked at me and smiled. “Goodnight kids. I’ll have breakfast if you want it. What time do you all need to be at school?”

I didn’t have class til 11. I knew Mark didn’t either. I looked at Mark blankly. “We’ll probably leave around 9:30 or 10. That okay?” I couldn’t tell if he was asking me or his mom. I just nodded hoping that sufficed.  

As we walked into Mark’s room, I froze. “I’m sleeping here?” I asked quizzically.

“Well, Roscoe has the dog house, so yeah...” He was just as puzzled as I was.

“I don’t have pjs. And your parents... are downstairs.”

“You can borrow my shorts. And my parents do also like to sleep in the house.” He handed me a pair of basketball shorts he had lying around. And he stripped down to his boxers and took off his shirt. I took that as my cue to put on the shorts.

“Do you have t-shirt?”

“Nope. You’ve got to sleep top-less.” He laughed while digging in a drawer for a shirt.

He slipped into his bed shortly after and I went to the bathroom to wash my face and gargle with mouth wash. I came into bed and he’d pulled back the covers on the opposite side for me.

I snuggled in. He pulled me close. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

I grinned as he held my back to his chest. “Thank you for asking me.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Kathleen,” he spoke seriously. I turned my head back to look at him. “I love you.” I flipped over and kissed him.

“I love you, too.”