Wiggity, wiggity, wiggity wack

 

Harriett, Ashley and I sat in their room feasting on gummy worms trying to come up with a plan for Ree and Chet.

“What if...” I spoke prematurely. “What if... you took him out to a fancy dinner and then brought him back here for a movie. Ashley can crash with me.”

“I could... It’s just a lame thing to offer up after he thinks he’s going to a formal.”

I was dejected. “Yeah.” I had asked Mark what he would want to do if my pledge party had been cancelled. He made some vulgar references to some acrobatic bed moves. I slapped him.

Ashley bolted up. “You guys are depressing me. I’ve got to go to conditioning. If you don’t have this figured out by the time I get back, I’ll combust!”

I also asked Yvonne, she just mumbled about how Rich would understand because he’s just  a total doll. I swear, she’s love sick. Bad. As Ree and I were sitting in silence, there was a knock at her door. We shared a confused glance while Ree stepped to the door.

“Oh, hey Chet.” She said mostly for my benefit. I took that as my cue to leave.

After I reached my room, Candace was nowhere to be found. She had casually mentioned some screening of some kind of French play or something somewhere downtown. I’m sure that’s where she was...

It was midday, and I was exhausted after not sleeping well the past few nights. I didn’t sleep all that great at Mark’s house, because parents. And I didn’t sleep much the next night because we were appropriately celebrating our exchange of “I love you.” And last night I had a paper to finish. I may have forgotten about it until the professor sent the class an email detailing how we were to submit the papers. Luckily I could take a nap before the dodge ball game I’d been asked to go to for Beta.

The dodge ball game was kind of boring. Beta shut out Alpha Delta. They didn’t win one of the three rounds. No surprise, as the signs say, “Betas are BALLERS!” Haha, I crack myself up.

Harriett text me during the game; she asked me to come over when I had a minute. After the match I headed over to her room. She was sitting on her bed reading an OK! when I walked in.

“Why do you insist on reading such crap?” I asked.

“Why do you insist on being such a kill joy?” She countered.

“Why do you insist on not telling me what happened with Sir Handsome this afternoon?”

She clapped frantically. “Ahhhh!” she wailed. “So, he came in. And I was trying to beat around the bush. And he was all ‘Oh, so sad news about the formal right?’ and I totally played dumb.” She was talking a thousand miles a second. I couldn’t get a word in had I wanted to. “And then he looked at me like I was stupid and told me he knew I had to know the party was cancelled, because all the ODPs got an email. I looked so stupid. So I just nodded and said that it sucked. Well! He then offered to take me to his lake house with some of his friends and their ODP girlfriends!” She yelped.

I hugged her. “Ree! That’s awesome! You’re going to have more fun than at a stupid dance! Who is going?”

“Two girls in my pledge class and then like 4 or 5 sophomore ODPs. He said he only asked guys in his fraternity that were seeing ODPs.”

“That was so nice of him! Y’all are going to have so much fun!” Just then, my phone buzzed. Candace.

Hey, there is some big package in here with your name on. Know anything about it?

Nope, I’ll be back in soon. Sorry.

I ran back to the room. What could she be talking about? What kind of package could I get?

On my bed sat a big box. Probably at least three feet wide and two feet tall. I opened it. And balloons flew out! How magical was this!!!

Inside were tons of Beta themes gifts. A card was situated at the bottom.

Kathleen,

Sorry for the scene. We’re usually not this obscene. I know you’ve been busy, but this gift is pretty nifty. You’re great, but my identity will have to wait...

Love, Your Anonymous Big Sister

All I could think was that this girl’s rhyming game was WEAK. But seriously, WHO IS SHE?!