Bedfellows

 

I stood mouth open, speechless for a beat too long. I had made this awkward. I finally caught myself, but it was still too late. “Leslie, yes! It’s so great to finally meet you. Aunt Mary and Mark both have told me such wonderful things.” I looked from side to side nervously. “I am so happy to be in the Beta house. It’s really an honor.”

Leslie grinned. She escorted me to the chapter room where we sat and talked. Luckily we had a lot of things in common, so the conversation wasn’t forced at all. I almost forgot for a minute who I was talking to. However, I was quickly reminded anytime she’d mention her brother, family, or growing up. I was a nervous wreck.

As Leslie showed me around she introduced me to the Vice President, the social chair and the ritual chair. I was floored by how they didn’t even try to hide that they knew a lot about me. I am fully aware that they’d been scanning my resume all summer, but it was weird seeing how they didn’t try to act like they didn’t know. I’m assuming I’m a special case since Leslie already knows my aunt and I’m kind of dating her brother.

As we were leaving, she leaned in and got really close to my ear. “I am so excited you’re here, and I cannot wait for you to come home to Beta on bid day!” She smiled so politely, and nodded. I know she was trying to act like she hadn’t just given me a verbal bid, but she and I both knew that was what just happened.

I opened my mouth excitedly. She patted my back and leaned in once more. “We’ve got to make this look like it isn’t planned, so please don’t tell your friends. Mary and I have it figured out. Just trust us.” She smiled again, and then before I knew it, we had made it to the door and we were hugging goodbye.

I couldn’t believe that just happened. I had seriously just had the best time at the tea at the Beta house. I never understood what Mary and Mom were talking about when they said it was home. But I get it now. It is home. It’s our home. It’s where I belong. I will not stop until I am initiated Beta. I made my mind up.

Next, all the girls went to a computer lab on campus and ranked the houses in order of favorite to least favorite. Some girls were crying. Some were sullen. Some wanted to drop out. I was just taking it all in. I felt like I was on cloud nine. I left relatively quickly as I didn’t have a hard time ranking the sororities.

As I walked home from ranking the houses (Beta was first, naturally), I got nervous thinking about how I would tell Mark I’d met his sister. When I got back to my room Candace was already back from ranking and ferociously typing away on her laptop at her desk.

“Hey!” I said cheerfully. “Did you enjoy tea?”

She gave me a short hmmph noise. I realized then to give up. I didn’t understand why she didn’t like me, really. But I also didn’t have time to delve into the situation. I’m going to toss it up to whoever this Jarrett character was. She’s definitely been more moody since he stepped on the scene, but I am not even going to bother asking.

I looked over at my phone and say five texts. One from Mary and one from Mom each were wishing me luck and telling me to stay calm. Two were from Ree saying she’d just gotten back to her room and was ready to never hear another chant or song again. And lastly one from Sweet Mark.

Hey Kathleen, good luck. Also, if you want to come over tonight I wouldn’t hate it. Let me know. ;)

I melted. I had blown him off the night before. It seemed fair to go see him. I text him back.

Sure thing. Let me change out of this tea dress and I’ll come see you.

Almost instantly he responded. I was thinking you could just sleep over if you wanted. So you could just wear pajamas. If that’s okay.

I grinned. He had this terrible ability to make me blush or smile in an instant.

In no time, I found myself knocking on Mark’s door. He opened the door and let me in, but before he even shut the door completely, he had his arms around me in a kiss.

He pushed my back against the door, and stared at my eyes intensely. “Hey you.” He sang sheepishly.

I looked up and pecked him on the cheek. “Well, hello yourself.” I paused for a beat. “Thanks for asking me over. It’s nice to not sleep next to Candace.”

He looked at me, “Well,” he joked, “you can just sleep here every night. I have no complaints with that.” He winked.

I scoffed playfully and walked towards his impeccably made bed. I don’t know if this was for show or if he was really one of those people who made his bed. I sat down cautiously, and he sat next to me with our back against his head board and feet stretched out along the bed. He picked up my hand gently and started fumbling with it and stroking my palm. He then reached his other hand over my face and started kissing me. I quickly stripped him off his shirt. He looked at me cautiously, asking with his eyes if I was really sure I wanted to do this.

I smiled. He was so thoughtful and careful. It was nice to know that he wasn’t just in this for one thing. Or, if he was he hid it well. He brought his hands to the bottom of my shirt. He tugged at the top painstakingly slowly. I thought I might combust right then. When he finally got my shirt off, he whispered softly, “You are gorgeous.” I blushed as I ran my fingers through his hair. He kissed me up and down my body. We were a jumbled mess of limbs and discarded clothes as we continued. No one was in a hurry, but neither of us wanted to wait any longer.

As we finished he collapsed on me with calculated poise. “I am so glad I asked you over, Kathleen. This has been wonderful.” He pecked my cheek and rolled off me. I was worried he was going to put on his clothes or leave me for a moment. I hated when guys did that. You just slept them with, the least they could do is act like they enjoy your company. I had this surge of anger and distress in the one second he was moving. However, I was entirely wrong. He just scooped me into him. He held me close, not wanting to be apart. It was so sincere and intimate. Just like that, and we fell asleep listening to each other’s breath.

What a rush

I was standing in a line about to witness what I had been told would be the most startling welcome to any dwelling ever. I was so nervous. The Rho Gammas (recruitment guides-they’re girls who are initiated in sororities and give up their affiliation to help the rushees—excuse me Potential New Members get from house to house and make decisions on rankings) had told us to expect a lot of wild emotion from the members, but that they couldn’t really prepare us for the hysteria that would break out in that doorway.  Ree, Yvonne and I had all been placed in different recruitment groups. It was probably for the best. We would have stuck together in a pod if given the chance, I think. Ashley wasn’t going through recruitment since her coach thought sorority life took too much time away from volleyball. To that I say live a little, but that isn’t my shot call. Of course I was the 2^nd in line in my group, so I was right up front for all the action. They were supppppper picky about us being in line alphabetically. Mary said it’s so the right girl picks us up at the door. It all seems so scripted. Why can’t I just walk in?

As I was lost in my own thoughts the door swung open and smiling faces and clapping hands were everywhere. Everything was a big blur of thick southern accents made to sing silly Pop 40 songs altered to say the chapters name over and over. I was standing in front of the Omicron Delta Phi house. ODP was known as the party girls. Ree had been rushed hard by them over the summer. Her cousin had gone to school here 5 years ago and visited the chapter, so a few of the girls remembered her. And wanted her. Bad.

I stammered in slowly. I was so overwhelmed with the insane volume and commotion. How was I expected to carry on a conversation with all this talking, singing, clapping, and stomping happening? Did my hostess say her name was Martha? Barbara? I didn’t know. I just nodded. “Kathleen, pleased to meet you!”

Finally we got to sit down. Then, Martha (or maybe Barbara?—I still didn’t know, and I couldn’t read her name tag because her hair was too long) walked away from me, promising to be right back. I was stunned. How poorly was I doing that she’d leave me right on entry? I did my nervous thumb flicking thing. I was searching the room, looking at all the other girls. It looked like they were still getting taken to their seats. They still had hostesses. Why was I sitting alone?

Before I made a spectacle of myself, I just looked down at my feet. How did this happen? What did I do? Did this have anything to do with me “dating” Mark? Was I dating Mark? Oh shit! Mark! I forgot to text him back before this thing started! I wish they’d let me bring my cell phone, then at least I could have something to do. Good Lord, what did I do? Should I get up and find the Rho Gamma guide? Does she even know what to do in this case? Has anyone else been left by the chapter hostess before? I’m so sure this has only ever happened to me. I just want to leave. But I can’t make a scene. Please just let—

Just then a loud song began to play and all the ODPs were dancing and singing. I couldn’t hear a word they were saying, if I’m being honest. I heard “fun parties,” “study sessions” and “semi-formal.” Okay, well good start. At least now I was relieved. All the girls had been left by their hostesses, not just me. One girl in front of me was really excited about this. She must have been a legacy. She was clapping and dancing and making a fool of herself.

Finally, the song ended and Darla!! That is her name! I can see her nametag now! Darla came back to me. She showed me the chapter room, the study, the dining room, and the kitchen. Along the way I met a few other members. They were all pleasant, but I don’t remember a single one’s name. Darla was very kind. She wasn’t at all pushy or awkward. You could just tell she really loved her sorority and she wanted everyone else to love it just as much. It was kind of endearing, I’d never been that crazy about anything before.  And just as soon as I was getting the hang of this whole party ordeal, we had to leave.

Oh my god. I have to do this 4 more times. Are you kidding me? This night is going to get pretty exhausting. I can feel it. Delta Alpha was next. It was just as same as the first. This time I was more prepared for the clapping, the leaving me to sing, and the excessive introductions. By the time I got to Theta Rho Chi I was an old pro! My enthusiasm was waning when I entered Chi Tau, but I kept my game face on.

As luck would have it, my last house of the night was Beta. I was putting on my best real, fake smile. I was ready for the clapping, the commotion and the singing. I was not fazed at all when I walked in with a gorgeous brown haired, green eyed goddess I knew I’d seen before she walked up to me. I figured I recalled her from all the photos my aunt and mom had shoved in my face, but I couldn’t place her. President? No she’s blonde. Social chair had a beauty mark. Chaplain looked mousy. Gosh... Who is this? “Hi Kathleen! I’m Leslie. It’s really nice to meet you! My brother Mark has talked so highly of you!”

I thought I was going to be sick.

Total Score

Class was such a freaking blur! I had three classes on that first day. English composition, Art History II, and Spanish. So, basically nothing that I really cared about. I had decided at the ripe old age of 7 I wanted to be an event planner. I watched a chick flick with my mom and told her that. And in some weird, obsessive, nonsensical way, I’ve kept that as my dream. My parents asked me to major in PR, so at least I could have a broad range of work opportunities and not strictly “wedding planner.” I think it is a pretty fair compromise. I mean, they are forking over tons in tuition. They can have a little say in some things.

After class, I text Ree to see if she was doing anything. She told me to pop over to her dorm in a few minutes. She didn’t exactly tell me what we were doing, but I really didn’t care either. I was about to burst if I didn’t tell someone about what happened the night before.

I searched my room for a snack, and Candace walked in. She sighed heavily. I could tell she wanted to talk about something. However, I wasn’t her friend and she had made it clear she didn’t want to be friends. When she scoffed and threw her bag on the desk, I knew I had to ask. I reached into my snack cabinet and offered her a fruit snack. “How was your day?” I said cautiously.

“You know, just really shitty. Like, really shitty. I walked into my French lecture and who do you think I saw? Of course Jarrett was in there! I thought he transferred! What is he doing in a freshman level French lecture?” She fumed and paced.

“Well, it’s a graduation requirement. Maybe he just didn’t take it his first year.” I was so totally lost. I had no idea who Jarrett was or what kind of consequence he had on Candace’s life.

She snacked on the gummies ferociously with anger. “Look, thanks for the snack. I’ve got to call Brittany. You understand?” She gave me a nasty face. She didn’t have to tell me twice, and I left to go find Ree.

Ree and Ashley were sitting in their room reading magazines. They were so lucky. They were two normal, fun girls living together. I didn’t have that luxury. I was stuck with a weird, bizarre, poorly scripted teen movie.

Ree invited me to sit down on her bed and look at her Glamour with her. “My classes were so weird today. One professor even started lecture. Who does he think he is? This is syllabus week. Get it together!”

I giggled with Ashley. She admitted all of her teachers gave lecture. Luckily none of mine did much in the way of lecture, but I wasn’t about to divulge that. I couldn’t be the only one who had a decent, albeit boring syllabus day. And then, rather abruptly Ashley said she needed to get to volleyball practice.

Ree looked at me knowingly. “So, when were you going to tell me about Mark? You hussy!” She gave a big laugh.

I just shook my head. “We just had dinner last night. But after dinner was... well...” I was searching for words when Ree interrupted.

“Hot? Steamy? World rocking? Give me something!”

I then gave her a play by play of what happened. “This morning was adorable. He woke me up for the sunrise. He said that it wasn’t as beautiful as I was, but he wouldn’t forgive himself if he let me miss it. We walked outside and sat on the quad and talked for a bit. He walked me back to my room and kissed me. Then after my first class he text me that he hoped I was having a good first day. It’s so weird. I never expected him to be so sweet, especially when he seemed so party-guy at first.”

Ree clapped her hands and squealed with delight. “I love this! And his sister is the Beta Nu rush chair? This is like fate! Are you seeing him again?”

I shook my head. “He asked to hang out tonight, but I don’t want to seem too available. I told him you, me, and Yvonne were going to dinner.”

She nodded knowingly. “Good call. You can’t be too available at first. But, I don’t think it’s going to make a big difference with him. He seems to love you.”

I laughed. “You’re insane. He surely doesn’t love me.” Just then I got a text from my mom.

Rush chair just called Aunt Mary. She said you’ve been dating her brother! She seems very excited about this romance budding! She called you a ‘total score.’ Mary assured me that was a good thing. Excellent tactic! Way to secure a bid! As if you weren’t a shoe-in already! Love you! Xxo

I cringed. I let Ree read the incriminating text. I knew then I had some damage control to do. But I didn’t know what I could do. I didn’t want to soil my reputation with the Beta Nu’s. But I also didn’t want to confirm to my mom that I’d been seeing someone. And I certainly didn’t want her thinking it was for a bid.

Well, we’ve hung out a bit. I’m not sure if it’s anything. But tell Aunt Mary I said hi! Love to you both! I’ll call you tomorrow after tea!

Tea was the first party of rush, and it was the night you just went from house to house for 20 minutes and said hello. It was crucial to meet the who’s who at that thing. It sealed your fate. Mary and Mom had gotten me photos of the executive council at Beta and I was to make sure to shake their hands and thank them for having me. I swear all this pressure could drive a girl to drinking.

“Hey Ree, how about pizza, wine, and My Best Friend’s Wedding tonight?”

“That sounds perfect. Let me just grab my fake ID!”

Crossed Wires

***Before I start the post, I just want to say how flattered and humbled I am by all the readers and traffic I've picked up. It's been less than a week and I've got more viewers than I ever imagined. I really do appreciate your support. I am going to try SO VERY HARD to keep a Monday/Thursday posting schedule (You might notice it's probably more of a late Sunday/late Wednesday, but the premise is it'll be there for you on Monday and Thursday). I'll definitely try to keep y'all in the loop though! Once again, thanks for reading and I hope you all have the very best weekend.--Lee***

Mark is such a gentleman, which is weird. I didn’t expect him to be so sweet to me, especially since we met by drinking in a grown over garden. But he is so sweet and attentive. I just don’t get it. How can he be so sweet?

At Surin, he sat across from me in a candlelit booth. Now, don’t get all romantical on me, y’all. All the booths at Surin are candlelit. He studied his menu for a minute then looked up at me and had the cutest, stupidest, totally adorable grin on his face. He giggled to himself. “Thanks for coming out with me. I’m glad I could take you out.”

I nodded, smiling probably just as dumbly. I won’t confirm this for sure as I’d like to save face. “Thanks for asking me. I really appreciate it. It’s a nice break from worrying about school and rush.”

“You’re welcome. So when do y’all start rush? We start on Saturday. But, we aren’t as formal and structured as y’all. I already know where I’m going. You guys blow my mind. All your singing and dancing and no talking and secret dirty rushing.”

I laughed. “You’re pretty astute for someone who hasn’t really even started college yet. Who bid you over the summer?”’

“Well, my sister is Beta Nu rush chair, and my mom is a national council member. I’m pretty much in Beta Nu paradise all day, every day at home. Back to me though,” he winked, “I verbally committed to Theta Gamma over in July. My dad and uncle were Theta’s when they were here.”

As he was talking I was squirming in my chair. His sister was rush chair. His mom was on national council. My aunt sat on national council 3 years earlier and now she’s still an active member at large. She wanted to go back to being an advisor, but didn’t want to interfere with me while I was in the chapter, as she lived in Birmingham and would likely be assigned to the chapter at my school. I kid you not, she made this decision before I even THOUGHT about rush. I was still a junior in high school.

He noticed my tell-tell nervous thumb flicking. When I got worked up over anything, I’d rub my pointer finger over my thumb nail. It made this awful noise, and I honestly hated that I did it, but as we all know habits are hard to break. “What’s wrong, Kathleen?” He looked worried.

I tried to think of ways to bring this up softly, without sounding like I was begging for a bid or even thought I was entitled. “Oh, nothing. I just bet your mom knows my Aunt Mary. She was housing chairwoman a few years back.”

His eyes grew wide. I knew now that he definitely knew about me. I wasn’t thinking highly of myself, but based on the amount of time my female family members put into making sure the members and advisors knew my name, I could only guess. “Oh my gosh! Your Aunt Mary is great! She and my mom hang out sometimes, and they have bunko nights. She drinks like a fish!”

I laughed. That was definitely Aunt Mary. She was always the life of the party. “Yeah.” I smiled. I hoped this was not going to be as awkward as I anticipated moments earlier. “You probably didn’t realize we were related as she carried about 4 last names. I can’t even keep up with which one she has now. She’s had more marriages than Elizabeth Taylor, I think.”

He nodded. “Hey, look. I won’t bring up rush stuff anymore. I’m sure this is awkward for you, as my sister has definitely sent you flowers, and I haven’t even done that... yet.”

I laughed, and really started to loosen up. He was right. His sister had sent me flowers over the summer before “non-contact” began. The flowers were still against rush code, but my mom wasn’t going to turn them in and the girls knew it. For two weeks I got lots of cool stuff. Barons tickets, flowers, and even some Sheri’s Berries. I was in no position to turn down that kind of attention. “Well, you sister gave me chocolate covered strawberries, so you’re really going to have to set up your game.”

He gave a big, hearty laugh. Then our waiter came to take our orders. The rest of dinner was lovely. He didn’t even flinch when the bill came, which is one of my litmus tests. If you look at me longingly when you get the bill, we aren’t meant to be. On a first date, you pay. Afterwards, I’ll be happy to pay. But in this situation, the boy makes the commitment.

He drove me back to campus and as we were about to pull up to my dorm he turned down the radio and looked at me. “I... Umm. Okay, so I guess...”

I gave him a kind look. “Do you want to come up?”

He literally let out a huge breath of air he’d clearly been holding in. “Oh thank God you asked! But look, my roommate is never around, let’s go to my place. I know Candace isn’t your favorite.”

Once we got into his room things got even more awkward than they were in the car. His dorm room looked just like mine. Two dressers, two curio cabinets, two desks, and two beds. Every room had one big closet that had a partition down the middle. I sat on what I assumed to be his roommate’s bed. I rocked my body side to side as he put his wallet on the cabinet and turned on his iPod player.

He sat down on his bed, and patted the spot next to him. I moved beside him and he leaned my head into his chest. He just held me there, rubbing my shoulder and playing with my hair. It was so intimate. I wasn’t used to this kind of affection. It felt so real and sincere. It made my stomach fill with butterflies.

I gently lifted my head up after a few minutes of lying there like that. “Thank you, Mark. I’ve had so much fun.”

I didn’t realize how that sounded like I wanted to leave until he got up and started grabbing his jacket. He kind of awkwardly fumbled around the room. “Oh, okay. Well, I had fun. Here I’ll walk—“

I cut him off by grabbing his arm. “No, come sit back down. Let’s talk.” As I was still holding his arm, he picked me up off his bed and wrapped his hands around my waist. I instinctually put my arms around his neck. The space between us was growing smaller and smaller. I could sell his delicious cologne. He bit his lip nervously. He finally bridged the gap between our lips, and they were touching. It morphed into the sweetest, slowest, most sensual kiss I’d ever had. It wasn’t urgent. It wasn’t forced, but I knew he wanted me. And I wanted him.

He pulled away. “I really like you Kathleen.” He looked sheepish and bashful.

I ran my hand over his soft beard. “Hey, I really like you too, Kid.” As soon as I got the words out, his lips were on mine again. We fell into the bed. He stripped off his shirt, and I raised my arms in wanting submission. He smiled, “Come here, Pretty.”

When he took my shirt off he just stared at me. He eyed me up and down. It was wracking my nerves. Was I fat? Did he think my boobs were too small? Did my mole under my left breast weird him out? I got shy and covered myself with my hands, moving them all over my body, trying to shield myself from his eyes.

His face dropped. His eyes grew sad. “I’m sorry.” He said it so sympathetically. As if he’d just told me my puppy had parvo. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I’d caught him. He didn’t like me, he just wanted to use me. And the worst part? He didn’t even think I was pretty enough to use. He was literally in the room with a half-naked girl and couldn’t make it happen.

I felt like a leper. I wanted to leave as quickly as possible. I knew that I’d cry soon if I didn’t get out soon. “It’s uhhh-I uhhh, okay. I’m going to...” I couldn’t formulate words. I had that throat closing thing that happened when you were about to have big, ugly crocodile tears. I was so embarrassed. This guy who I thought was so sweet clearly did not even think I was pretty. What a blow to my ego!  As I fumbled for my shirt he started pacing. He was mumbling under his breath. “Excuse me?” I asked roughly. I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to make snide comments in my presence!

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have pushed this. I just think you’re so pretty, and I couldn’t keep my hands off you. And that’s my fault. I’m just sorry I screwed this up.” He spit the words out so quickly he barely took a breath.

I balked. I thought he thought I was an ogre! Poor guy thought I was rejecting him. Talk about your crossed wires. “I’m sorry, Mark. I thought you were regretting this, so I was trying to get out of here.”

He walked over to me and hugged me silently for a long time. It was so intimate. He just put my head into his shoulder and rubbed up and down my back, as if to soothe my nerves. “Come on, let’s go to bed. I’ve got some boxer shorts and t-shirt you can wear. I’ll let you rent a movie on the X-box, too. I really screwed this up, so we can watch the most terrible chick-flick if you want. Your call.”

They say this is how it starts...

Tuesday was a day filled with just an overall feeling of anxiousness. Tomorrow I started this whole new thing. And to add to the intense feeling of impending doom, sorority rush was to start Thursday evening.

Sorority rush, er... excuse me, recruitment, was something I was expected to do. I was expected to rush, pledge, and be initiated Beta Nu. Just like my mom. Just like my aunts (somehow on both my mom and dad’s side!!). Just like my grandmother. Just like all my female cousins-except Lindy. Lindy forwent college to join the Marines. I mean, you can’t fault her for not being a Beta when she is protecting our right to freedom, right?

Anyway, I am super stressed about not only school, but recruitment. It was like this looming thought over everything I did. You think to yourself “What if an ABC saw me do that? How embarrassing!” or “I hope a DEF didn’t find out I went out to the fraternity houses over the summer.” The list of anxieties goes on. My mom always says “Life was easier when rush was dirty.”  I don’t know much about this “dirty” rushing, but I guess she’s right. We had so many restrictions and things to worry about. There had been a big assembly for all the girls who signed up for recruitment on the 2^nd night we were on campus. We were explicitly told that under almost no circumstance, excluding impending death, are we to speak to a “sorority woman.” That clause becomes nullified in a classroom setting, but is reinstated again on the all-important bid day. There were many other rules, but they mainly all boiled down to, don’t talk to or cavort with any sorority members.

After thinking about that had worked me into a tizzy, Yvonne stopped by my room. Yvonne and Ree were the people who reached out to me most, so they became my two best friends. I didn’t mind, they were nice, fun and really witty. I just wished I could be the one to initiate friendships and not wait for them to happen to me.

“Hey Yvonne, have a seat. Candace is of course out, so you can sit on her bed.” I sneered at Candace’s bed in disdain. I swear Candace was like the least likeable, biggest brat. Ever.

Yvonne laughed, “Oh Lord, I’m not going to even ask what the dilemma is in Candace Land.” She paused. “So, I have something I need to ask you.” I nodded, signaling her to continue. “Do you think it’d be weird if I went out with Allen?”

Allen was a guy that Yvonne had met the same night I met Mark. I was puzzled as to why she was asking. I thought we all agreed we liked Allen and that he was a solid option as far as the subpar grouping of freshmen boys we had at our disposal. “I mean, why wouldn’t you want to?”

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “You’re so out of this aren’t you? Did your high school boyfriend just make you devoid of all relationship knowledge?” I gave her a hard glance as if to say hey, girl! Watch it! “You can’t just go pairing off before classes even start. You’ll end up in an at least semester long relationship that might be bad for business, you know?”

I shook my head. I did not know. “I mean, if you like him, who cares?”

“Oh goodness. I’ll spell this out for you. Allen is nice. What if somebody else I haven’t met yet is nicer? I can’t just go giving myself away to the first person to put in a bid.”

I scoffed. Looking back, probably in poor taste, but whatever. She was being insane. “Look, you can’t live in these what ifs. It’s dinner. He isn’t telling you that you can never see another guy ever. He isn’t making you sign a contract. Do what you want.”

She laughed. “Somebody must be infatuated with a Mr. Mark Hart, and doesn’t want to look at the facts.”

I blushed. Like a fool. She may have caught me there. I didn’t respond. Further proving my guilt. She prodded. “So, Missy! What about this Hart character?”

“Eve! I can’t fall in love in 2 days. I just-- he’s nice. And he makes me laugh. And, I might be seeing him tonight. Again. For the 3^rd night in a row.”

She looked puzzled. “But wait! You were with me, Ree and Ashley until 2am last night drinking Mad Dog and watching The Hangovers I,II, and III.”

I burst out laughing. “I am aware of where I was until what time. Thanks, mom!”

She eyed me. “So, when were you going to divulge that you went on this little late night, early morning ho-bag adventure?” She was teasing. She was definitely not in a position to call me a ho-bag. She’d sent Allen a drunk text Sunday reading “Wahhyy dunt yiu evahhh asm me ovwr fie secsy rim.” Direct quote. I took a screen shot and sent it to myself. It was that priceless. She instantly regretted it. But he just laughed it off Monday morning when he got it and said he was flattered. Clearly it worked, as he was asking her out.

I knew I had to answer her. “Okay, so we’d been texting all night, as you know. And I just randomly told him that I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Candace when I got in. He said I could come by if I wanted to avoid her a little longer. So, that’s what I did. And I avoided her... well, all night.”

Yvonne squealed with excitement! “Ahh! Did you hook up with him?!”

I gave her a coy look, then laughed. “No, I was actually a lot more drunk than I anticipated. Walking around made it very clear I had too much. I got in and fell over a pair of his shoes. He laughed and picked me up, put me in his bed and gave me some water and Advil. He woke me up in the middle of the night to make out a little, but nothing super exciting.”

She was clapping hysterically! “You’re so lucky! He’s so sweet to you! And you’re seeing him again?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “You just got on to me for making my mind up on someone too quickly, and now you’re acting like this is the biggest deal ever and we should get married. Pick a side.”

With a sigh, “No, you and I are different. I had precisely 24 boyfriends in high school. You had one. I’m a bee, just floating from flower to flower. You’re a penguin. You pick life mates. It’s cute. But we’re polar opposites.” She laughed to herself. “Get it! Polar!!!”

“Oh my gosh, please get out so I can get ready for dinner with Mark...” I started to push her out the door as I remembered I could really use some help picking out an outfit. “Wait! Just kidding. What would you wear to Surin?”

Good Riddance

 Not surprisingly, I had a terrible hangover after my beer pong battle in the community garden. I rolled over in obvious pain when Candace so politely turned on her Iggy Azalea album at some obscene decibel.

"Candace, do you mind turning that down a notch?" I moaned in a raspy voice.

 "Whatever, I'm heading out." She then slammed the door closed.

 I looked around wondering what time it was. I didn't even know what time I got in... I found my phone sitting on my chest of drawers charging. 11:06am. Well, so much for breakfast in the café with Yvonne. I'm sure she wasn't too upset. She had 3 tequila shots before we even started playing beer pong. And she'd run off with some guy named Allen. I'm sure she wasn't missing me.

More shocking than the time was the 3 text messages I had waiting. One from my mom (that wasn't the shocking one, obviously); one from Ree asking about brunch at Another Broken Egg (well, she left at 10:30, so that's out); and one from Mark saying "thanks for taking a chance on a bullshitter."

I smiled stupidly to myself. I first replied to my mom, letting her know that school was going well, and yes I was ready for my classes to begin Wednesday. Oh God, did they really begin in 4 days? Ughhh.

Ree said she understood my hangover and we'd circle up later for dinner and a movie. Some girls had mentioned watching Frozen in the dorm hall's common room. I text her for a bit about the night before and how much it sucked classes were to begin in a mere 4 days.

 Lastly, I got to Mark's text. I didn't know what to do. I was never excellent with boys.

I had a boyfriend for five years. We started "dating" in 7th grade. Kenny was a year ahead of me in school. He was a total home body. It was easy to be with him, because he didn't challenge me. He simply existed. And for five years, I just existed along with him. The only time we ever said I love you was to end an argument. The only time we hugged was at the urging of our friends. We were together out of habit. I thought he was it. I thought he was the love of my life, but looking back, there was no passion. He was easy. He was there. He was constant. I didn't want that anymore.

I sat thinking about Kenny and how we broke up. He left for college last summer, and we tried to make it work while he was in Oxford at Ole Miss. It was just strange. Neither of us felt the need to call the other, and we didn't really try to see each other. In a world where video chats are readily available, I maybe FaceTimed him twice. We simply fell apart.

 I sat in his basement, watching Mob Wives on TV. He was good about letting me watch whatever I wanted. I thought at first he was being so sweet to me, letting me pick the TV show. I later found out that he was usually just playing word games on his phone, and didn't care because he wasn't watching. I looked at him blankly as he was moving his thumbs ferociously against the screen. I thought, "he's never showed that much urgency with me. He never runs to me. He never opens his arms to squeeze me in." I then surveyed our stance. We were literally on total opposite ends of a couch, leaned against the arms. This was the first time we'd seen each other in about 6 weeks. We should have been excited. He was home for Thanksgiving, and we were planning on going to his grandmother's for dinner the next day.

I looked at him blankly. He felt my stare. "Something up, Kathy?" Ugh. I hated being called Kathy. And he knew it.

I sighed. I hung my head. "I don't know."

He then went right back to his game. I knew then. It was already over. It had never started. I might as well stop masquerading.

"Hey, Ken. Can we talk for a sec?" My voice was shakey. He nodded and I continued. "I think I love you. I think you're great. But I think we can also both agree, this isn't working, is it?"

 He seemed confused, but not really upset. "The distance is hard, I guess." He said weakly.

 "No, I mean, look at us. You're way over there. We haven't seen each other in 6 weeks. We haven't had sex in almost 3 months. We aren't even fazed."

 He cocked his head. "You just asked to have a tampon from my sister. I didn't think you'd be in the mood. I'm sorry."

 He thought this was about sex. It wasn't. It was about us. Not wanting to have sex. Or hold hands. Or be affectionate. At all. "No, I mean, thank you. But no. We barely hugged. We didn't make out. We didn't really even kiss. Why are we together?"

 He puffed his chest. He was getting defensive. This was the most emotion I'd brought out in him since... well 3 months ago--even then I think it's safe to say it was marginal. "We're together because we make sense. You're my girlfriend. And you always have been."

 I puffed out a weak "ha!" I sat mouth open for a moment. "So, you not liking change is why we're together? You know what. Let me do you a favor. I'm calling this quits. We both deserve better. I'm not mad. I'm not bitter. I'm not upset. I just want us each to find someone who does more than 'make sense.' We deserve passion. Both of us." I stood up, kissed his cheek, and walked out. He called exactly 4 times over the next 5 weeks. His excuses were weak. And mainly revolved around social functions we'd agreed to go to together, like his family Christmas ski trip and his fraternity semi formal in New Orleans.

 I snapped out of my deep thought when I got a text. Surprisingly another from Mark. "Partner, check your Chem 101 email."


I quickly opened the school's app and clicked Chem 101 course mail. An item read "Lab Partner Assignments."

I opened it, knowing my fate.

"Students,

Please refer to your lab partners listed below. I've paired you alphabetically and am not prone to make changes. I suggest you make friends and stay that way. I make few exceptions.

Howard Applebee & Sarah Bishop
.... none of these are my name
... don't care
... carry on.
Gregory Decatur & Beau Doxie
... some more names that have no baring on me
... wait I think we're getting somewhere
... ooh!
Mark Hart & Kathleen Hoover"

 I responded with "Just you wait, cutie."

Exactly...

It was Saturday night. I was waiting for something to happen. As if things just were "going to happen" to me. I had never had to search for things in high school. My friends, my job, my boyfriend, my grades... They all came to me, rather easily.


This whole college things was quite a different thing. I moved to Birmingham, Alabama upon graduating high school.  I was ready to be away from my family. I was ready for a new adventure. I thought. It wasn't as easy as I had hoped.


I'd gotten on campus 2 days earlier. All the freshmen were made to arrive a week early to school in order to get settled, I suppose. Campus was literally full of people so anxious to make friends and blend in, it almost seemed painful. I was just one of those people. Looking and searching for a friend. My roommate, Candace, was from Birmingham (she quickly would correct me she was from Vestavia... I was too dense to realize the nuance of this at first). She had a massive friend group built in. She also had plenty of friends still around town. I was from the Mississippi gulf coast. This wasn't my domain. I was on of those kids searching for a partner in crime.


Sure, there had been plenty of near finds, potential diamonds in the rough. However, none so far has stuck. I mean, the girl down the hall Michelle--she seemed normal. Then she started mentioning her love of cats. I don't like cat people. Cats will poop and pee on your stuff to show you they are better than you. I am not into that. Leslie was nice, but she was nice to everyone. All the time. It was daunting. And she didn't get my sarcasm. I was beginning to think my luck was wearing thin.


Harriet seemed like she had real potential. She didn't live on my hall, we just happened to sit at the same lunch table today. She told me she'd text me to hang out. She hasn't. I could just as easily text her to hang out, but I won't. I'm that person. I wait for things to happen to me.


In an attempt to make myself feel less restless, I walked out to the dorm quad. It was usually abuzz with the aforementioned anxious freshmen. There was a lot of Cards Against Humanity and Black Jack being played all the time on the porch. People had hammocks put up between trees. During the day, girls would sun in herds in the middle. I had been asked to sun in the herd earlier today with Harriet (Ree is what her friends call her) and her already amassing "crew."


I walked out timidly with my Kindle and iPod just in case no one asked me to join them, I could at least look like I was an elusive book worm type. I sat down and started reading The Marriage Plot. Not 3 minutes later, I saw Ree and her groupies. She bounded up to me. Her red bodacious hair bouncing beautifully. Her hair couldn't be natural as she was a nice light medium tan. Nonetheless, she was stunning.


"Kathleen! I was just about to text you!" She wailed.


I smiled weakly, not knowing the entire truth about that. "Oh really?"


She grinned honestly. "We're going to community gardens. Some guys got beer for us, and we're going to play Ring of Fire. Come on!"


This was what I'd been waiting on. A friend! An event! SOMETHING TO DO! I hoped up, trying not to look as eager as I obviously was. "Okay, let me put this up and change. Y'all are welcome to join me."


Ree looked to her cronies. "Come on girls, let's go with Kathleen. Then WE BOOZE!" They all giggled as if on cue.


Less than 20 minutes later, I'd met another crew member, Yvonne. She was from North Carolina and was here to play golf. I knew nothing about golf, but she seemed nice, so I acted interested. Shortly, we arrived at the community gardens and saw a hoard of guys shot gunning a round of beers.


I grinned. I was happy to be in on this. I was happy to be apart of it all. We all sat in a circle, and somehow I ended up between Ree and this guy claiming to be Mark. Mark was shaggy haired with a perfectly scruffy beard. He winked knowingly when I sat down. I smiled and melted like butter.


He burrowed his head in the crook of my neck. "You know what this means, huh?"


I snapped my neck questioningly, "Huh?"


He laughed softly with one deep, breathy "Ha!" I still looked puzzled. "I'm your partner all night. Anything we need pairs for, you're mine." He half smiled. God, he was so charming. I knew that meant he was a total ass...


Mark effectively forgot about me until we made a makeshift beer pong table out of a park bench, and he asked me to be his partner. "So, you meant what you said, huh Partner?"


He stifled a laugh, "I've never been a bullshitter."


It was my turn to laugh, "I'm so sure."


He grabbed my waist and turned me to him, his breath heavy with alcohol. "Just you wait, cutie." And he pecked my forehead quickly, as if it might have burned his lips. He then turned me around as quick as the kiss, and smacked my butt. Not in a rough, sexual way, but in a "let's do this, and win some beer pong" kind of way. And that was exactly what we did.