I Wanna Dance with Somebody

Well, I learned the meaning of the whole, “the first bus is lame” concept. No one is there when you get there. It’s like you were the first person to the party. And it’s kind of awkward and everyone feels out of place.

Luckily! That only lasted for about 30 minutes until the second bus arrived. With the second bus brought all the upperclassmen and their dates. Let me tell you, they were ready to party. Yvonne, Rich, Mark and I were sitting at a table waiting for the rest of the Beta’s, when suddenly they came rushing in. It then felt like a party, and I felt like a real sorority girl.

Rich looked at Mark with this sad look. “Dude,” he spoke solemnly, “my flask is empty. I don’t think I’m going to maintain this buzz throughout this whole thing.”

Mark cracked up and nodded. “I’ll get Leslie to get us something. We’ll be fine.”

Yvonne and I shared strained looks. “Guys,” I spoke deliberately. I didn’t want to be a killjoy. But... “If either of you get caught drinking underage or cause any kind of problems, it’s not you that gets in trouble it’s me or Yvonne. So, be smart?”

Mark nodded and got Rich to agree. “Babe,” Mark said softly. “Let’s go dance. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

Mark drug me out to the dance floor and that was when I learned he was actually a really decent dancer. I’m not talking about grinding, booty-popping. He was actually a decent, real dancer. He kept in step, he was a good lead, I was shocked.

“Where’d you learn these moves, Don Juan?”

“Jose Cuervo.” He joked. “No, seriously... When my sister had her debut I was a junior escort for one of the girls, and I had to take dancing lessons. Well, as you can see, I’m a natural. Then when it came time for girls in my grade to have their debutante balls, I got asked to two or three a season. And, now you reap the benefits of a really awesome, super talented, devilishly handsome boyfriend.”

“Gag me with a spoon!” We continued to dance until Rich came over and said he’d found drinks. After that, we did a few shots, and to be honest, I can’t remember much...

The next morning, Yvonne and I woke up in my bed. I was totally disoriented. Why was I with her? Did either of us have a bad night?

It was 9:15, so I shook Yvonne awake. “Hey,” I spoke softly, realizing the severity of my hangover, “what’s up?”

Yvonne cracked a smile. “You don’t remember?” I shook my head. “Oh,” she began again, “Well, when Rich and Mark were about to take us back to their rooms, you informed them we were ladies and wouldn’t sleep with them. So, you politely asked they drop us off here together.” She wasn’t mad, she was laughing. For that, I was thankful.

“Why would I do that?” I now was laughing.

She smiled. “I told you I thought it was too soon for me to sleep with Rich, so you made up that dumb excuse for me. It was really sweet.”

I smiled back. “But wait!” I squealed, hurting my head. “He didn’t like get weird or try to be pushy with you? Because if he did...”

She interrupted me. “No! He was a total gentleman... I think I could... I think I might like him.” She dug her head in her hands.

I shook her shoulders excitedly. “THIS IS PERFECT! HE’S PERFECT! YOU GUYS ARE PERFECT!” We then cracked up, and went right back to sleep.

When I woke up again at 11, Yvonne had left a note saying Rich asked her to breakfast, but she didn’t want to wake me. I saw I had missed a call from Mark, Ree, and my mom. Mom left a voicemail saying the pictures that Leslie sent were adorable, so I just sent her a text telling her I had a wonderful time.

Ree rarely called, so I called her back first. She was a text girl, so I knew something was up. Surprise, she didn’t answer. I left her a voicemail asking her to call when she had a second.

Lastly, I text Mark and told him I was going to take a shower and he could come over whenever he wanted. I was hoping sooner, rather than later.

When I got out of the shower Mark was sitting in my room waiting on me. “Good afternoon!” He got up and kissed my cheek, as I walked behind my desk to get dressed. “How ya feeling?”

“Rough.” I responded honestly. “But thanks for going with me last night. You’re the best. Now, can we please go get some food?”

Just then, as I was putting on my clothes, my door slung open. Harriet ran in with a look of sheer bewilderment. “Kathleen! Where have you been? I’ve got some serious news!” She totally ignored the fact that I was only in my underwear and Mark was sitting on my bed.

“Hungover?” I looked at her quizzically. “What’s wrong?”

“ODP is on social probation for grades and the school won’t let us have any functions. So, our pledge party is cancelled!” She was clearly upset. I don’t blame her. I would be upset, too.

“What happened?” Mark seemed sincerely concerned.

“We fell below a 3.0 GPA average, and they have the right to cancel any social functions. I’m so embarrassed. I just asked Chet to the party, now I have to tell him it’s off.” And there was the meat of the problem... She was upset about blowing off her TOTALLY hot date.

Bus Logic

Pledge Party was upon us. Yvonne  and I were getting ready in her room before we went to dinner. We were going to dinner at 5, coming back to pre-game, then get on the bus at 9:15. Freshmen got stuck on the early buses because they apparently weren’t as fun. I’m not sure what these means, really. But whatever.

I wore a hunter green cocktail dress with rouching at the waist. Yvonne had a cream silk dress. She looked amazing. Mark said he would wear his charcoal gray suit, so I was excited! I hadn’t seen him in a suit since his recruitment.  He looked good then, I’m sure he’d look even better now. Rich had called Yvonne to ask what she was wearing (ADORABLE!) and he said he would wear a pastel tie to coordinate. Um, I’m sorry, but how sweet is that!

Mark and Rich drove over to the girls dorm in Rich’s Range Rover. Oh yeah, Rich’s dad owns car dealerships all over the south. How awesome is that?! I let Yvonne sit up front with Rich and Mark and I sat in the captains seats behind them. Mark looked at me, “You cleaned up nicely, ma’am.”

“Thanks, honey. You look great.”

We sat down to dinner at Chez LuLu and lamented over not being able to order wine or drinks. They have several champagne cocktails my mom and aunt always let me have a sip of when we’re in town, and I really wanted one even more after peering at the menu. Our dinner consisted of a lot of brie, a lot of poached fruit, and delicious salad dressing.

Now, it’s customary for the girl to pay for the boys everything when you invite him to a sorority function. He’s your date. You take care of everything for him. Sadly, most boys don’t let you do this, I’m learning. Yvonne and I reached for the bills, and both Mark and Rich quickly grabbed them. We were having similar discussions on either side of the table, but Yvonne and I both lost horribly. I could at least rest assured I’d bought the liquor and beer for the pre-game (Thanks cousin Fran!).

Rich invited us to his room before it was time to leave for the party. We all poured our drinks and sat around to talk. I was deep in conversation with Mark about how Alabama football actually wasn’t the greatest thing since sliced bread, when I looked over and noticed Yvonne perched in Rich’s lap. I grinned instinctually. I leaned into Mark, “Don’t look now, we don’t want to startle them in their natural habitat, but I think we’ve found two love birds.”

Mark winked at me; we were proud of our match making. Just then, his phone rang. Leslie was calling.

“We can come down there if you want. We’ve got drinks though, is that a problem?... No, there shouldn’t be. I’ll get them... Okay, I’ll get some cups... Yes we can take a picture to send to Mom... She will love it... Okay, see you in a bit.”

Mark looked up. “Leslie and some other people have beckoned us to the Theta house. She said they need ice and cups. I’m sure that is the main reason why she called.”

Yvonne and I balked. We shared awkward looks between each other. “Mark, we can’t go. Upperclassmen will NOT like us drinking.”

He shook his head. “I asked, Leslie said as long as you weren’t fall down drunk, no one would care. And I can attest that you are not. So, we are fine. Plus, she offered us EACH two drinks at the party. So, I don’t think she’s worried.” He kissed my forehead and ushered me to the convenience store with Rich and Yvonne. We drove down the fraternity house, and about 20 minutes later we were surround by hoards of Thetas and Beta Nus.

Leslie bounded up to me and gave me a hug. “Kathleen! I’m so glad you can make Marky look so dapper. He’d never dress up for me! Let’s me, you, Luke and Mark get a picture. Mom will love it!”

I nodded emphatically, to match her drunken high-speed speech. “Yeah, let’s do it!”

She nodded. “Your mom and Aunt Mary would love to see it, too. I’ll email it to them!”

I was saying a silent prayer I didn’t look too drunk as she shoved the camera in some other upperclassmen Theta’s hand and shoved Mark, Luke, and I into a heard. She then joined us and we took at least 14 photos. Leslie checking between each one, “No, we’re definitely hotter than this!!”

When she was drunk, she sure was excitable. It was a strange contrast to Mark. Mark just got dopey. I liked it, he was affectionate. It was weird, but I feel like he is more honest when he’s drunk. Like he’s lost some level of guardedness. He is so content to just sit and talk with me. It’s flattering. And, he gets flustered when his words don’t come out right, which is totally precious.

Rich and Yvonne had once again cuddled up on a couch over in the corner. Leslie nodded at them. “You did a good job, Hoover! Those two are a match pair! And, I LOVE Theta/Beta Nu couples!” She pointed to some lone guy in the corner. “Like Vince over there? He needs to be dating Mitchell Anne. He won’t because he’s afraid she’ll say no. But they’d be a perfect couple. I’m going to get them together if it’s the last thing I do!”

I looked at her weirdly. “Doesn’t Mitchell Anne have a boyfriend?”

“No! You’re thinking of Anne Margaret. She does have a boyfriend. He’s in a med school. She hooked a good one.”

Oy Vey. Double names have always been hard for me.

“Well, I say you and I get Mitchell Anne down here one night with us, huh?” I smiled sweetly.

“You’re so gung-ho! I love this!” She nudged Mark who was talking to Luke, “You seriously have the best girlfriend. Ever. Don’t screw it up. Or I’ll screw you up.”

Mark shrugged. “She’s kind of awesome. But don’t tell her too much. She’ll get cocky and leave me.” He kissed me on the cheek. Just then we got a huge announcement from some obscenely drunk Beta Nu. “FIRST BUS GIRLS AND DATES—THE BUS IS HERE! LET’S PARTY!”

Bagels & Boys

Luckily after announcing that Leslie’s boyfriend sucked she smiled at me and nodded. “He can sometimes. He’s been a real jerk the past few weeks. I’m sorry you’re meeting him like this. I had the same impression of him, too. As did Mark. And my parents. You’re not alone. Luke is kind of like beer, ar first you turn up your nose, but it soon becomes something you quite enjoy.”

Phew, talk about your dodged bullets. After that, Mark tripped on a bar stool, so I took McSloppyFace back to bed. As I was taking off my pants and snuggling into bed with him and grabbed me. “I like that you assume you’re staying here.”

I shrugged. “If you want to ask the half-naked girl to leave your room, be my guest.” I laughed and he showed me just how grateful he was to have me in his bedroom.

Friday we all nursed our hangovers. Ree, Yvonne, Gwen, Ashley and I went to Panera at the Summit around noon to have bagels and coffee. We were radically underdressed than all the other Vestavia and Mountain Brook women shopping for their children and husbands. I didn’t mind it much, though. I was used to coast living; we could get away with wearing a ball gown or cutoffs.

Ree told us about the ODP party she went to the night before. She met a guy and asked him to her pledge party the next weekend. They had a class together, but never really spoke before. She said she didn’t think she’d keep him around long, but I have a suspicion she’s just being bashful. She lit up when she talked about him. I wish I could remember his name though? I’m awful.

Ashley said there was some intense volleyball drama because two girls were kicked off the team for drinking the night before a game. Ashley was worried it’d get back to her coach that she’d been drinking, so she’d sworn it off for the rest of the season. I didn’t anticipate them being so strict about that stuff, but when they’re paying you to play a sport, I guess they expect your best. Ashley didn’t seem bothered or upset, she just wanted us to know she wasn’t trying to be a flake or loner. I commend her ability to tell us she wasn’t going to drink anymore. I would have definitely just hung out with us still to be assimilated to the group. She’s her own person though. And I admire that.

Gwen, Yvonne and I just blabbered on about our pledge party the following night. Yvonne and Rich had made out the night before. Apparently she didn’t go upstairs with that GZ, she went to find Gwen who had run to find beer. Oddly, beer led to Gwen finding her own GZ and she stayed with him that night. She felt horrible the next morning, because of her boyfriend. She called him and told him the whole thing. She told him she had blacked out, which was kind of the truth. He wasn't mad, she said. He was glad she was honest and promised to make an effort to call her more.

Ashley had to get back for a practice, so we dropped her off at the gym while we all went back to our respective beds. Lucky for me, not that I minded Candace’s presence much anymore, she went home for the weekend. I crawled in my bed, turned down the blackout shades, and slept for a couple of hours. I woke up to my phone buzzing incessantly. I had two missed calls and five texts. Calls were from Mom, but three of the texts were from Mark.

Hey, want to get dinner?

Okay, I guess you’re busy. Text me later.

Sweetheart, I haven’t heard from you all day, and you left without waking me. Are we ok?

I called him, too exhausted to text him an explanation. “Are you mad?” He answered.

“No, Mark. I was taking a nap.”

“For three hours?”

I laughed. “Long night. You should know...”

He sighed. “Well, someone was an early riser. Had she just stayed in bed, like a good girl, I would have been less worried.”

“Okay, Mr. Guilt Trip, got it. Want to come over? I’m not moving from my bed anytime soon, but you can come over.”

“Sure. I need to talk to you about some stuff anyway.” He hung up and I was miffed. He knocked and let himself in my door not 5 minutes later. “Hey baby girl.” He spoke as he squeezed into bed with me.

I didn’t mince words. “What do we need to talk about?”

He looked stunned. “Luke.”

I slapped my face in shame. “Look, I’m sorry. I spoke out of turn. I was kind of drunk. I am sorry.”

He shook his head. “No, don’t be. We don’t like him. We tolerate him. For Leslie. She’s convinced she can help him or fix him or something. I don’t know. But, after 4 months we stopped fighting his mood swings, his outbursts at dinner, his rude comments, his crass nature. It just became something we put up with. I just wish I’d told you sooner. He’s never at the house, so I didn’t think you’d ever come in contact with him, honestly.”

I nodded. “I’m sorry. Does he at least treat Leslie well?”

She shrugged. “No. He yells at her, calls her stupid. His dad treated his mom like that. However, unlike Leslie, Luke’s mom wised up and left. It’s just sad. Leslie could do a lot better, she just doesn’t want to. He will never propose, so at least that’s a good thing.”

I hugged him. “I’m sorry, Mark.” I kissed him and we took another wonderful nap.

They Hatin'

It was time for my first mixer. My very first college mixer.  I was going to a mixer! I was equal parts super excited and super scared. What if my outfit was lame? What if the boys didn’t want me there because my boyfriend was a pledge at another house? What if I drank too much and got sick and had to leave early?

Gamma Zeta was known for a good time, and I was ready to have one. Riding Dirty was our theme. We were going as bikers. I was ready. Temporary tattoos and pleather galore. Earlier in the day my pledge class gathered up and went to Goodwill for some cheap costumes. Gwen was turning out to be a fun time. She brought out a wild edge to Yvonne that I loved!

Yvonne and Rich hit it off the night before at mine and Mark’s persuading. They were going to our pledge party together that weekend, and they couldn’t have been cuter. She kept telling us how excited she was to see him and how sweet he was. Which, I mean, I set them up. I knew he was awesome. Gwen had a boyfriend at South Alabama, but he couldn’t make it up for the party so she was going with another Beta pledge who has a boyfriend at—get this, YALE!—he obviously can’t come around much.

Sadly, only one luckily Beta pledge could find chaps that fit. The rest of us went for vests or jackets. All of us had cut offs though, so we went to WalMart to get temporary tattoos and bandanas. We ran into some of the older GZs picking up beer by the pallet.

“Girls, we have high expectations for the Beta new members, so y’all better bring your party shoes, ok?”  He winked. We all melted and giggled as he walked off.

As we sat at the Beta house waiting on the boys come to greet us, I didn’t know what to expect. All the older girls kept telling us it’d be worth coming to see, so I was excited. They didn’t give us much to go off of, though. I was hoping it’d turn out to be a good surprise at least.

Yvonne squealed as the guys knocked at the door. Then, the whole pledge class walked in the front door and began singing Build Me up Buttercup. Poor guys couldn’t carry a tune. It was awful, and equally adorable. They were dressed in the tackiest get-ups I’d ever seen. The brothers had made them go all out. I wasn’t complaining; I was just shocked.

Much to the chagrin of every girl at the Beta Nu house, they stopped singing after one verse and chorus. Then, the boys herded us into trucks and SUVs and took us to the fraternity house. As soon as we walked in, I was amazed. The party room (aka, the basement) was covered in spray paint. “GZ loves BN” “Beta is Best” “All Boys Love a Beta Girl.” Then there was also a lot of cheaply done tattoo-esque art. Then, I saw the best thing yet. They had cups with each Beta Pledge’s name on one. They were Harley Davidson cups from some party supply store, no doubt. These guys had really gone all out!

They had this stuff called “Party Punch.” Couldn’t tell you what was in it, but it was delicious. Like for real. I’m sure it was actually terrible for me, but it tasted fantastic. I danced, made a fool of myself and had an all around good time.

After a few hours at the GZ house I got some rather intoxicated text messages from Mark begging me to come down to Theta. I nudged Leslie. “Hey!” She wailed.

“Leslie, can I go to other houses? Mark keeps pestering me, but I don’t want to look like flake or seem rude.”

She laughed. “You’re fine! Notice all the Delta Alpha’s? If they can come hang out at our party, you can certainly hop down to Theta.” She paused looking around. “But, I wouldn’t go alone. Where are your friends?”  She scanned the room looking for Yvonne and Gwen.

“I think they went upstairs, if you catch my drift...” She and I nodded in agreement.

“Okay,” she spoke logistically. “I’ll grab Michelle and we’ll walk you over there. Michelle has been hanging out with this Theta and she’s too nervous to go over there alone. We’ll all three go!” She smiled brightly.

We walked into Theta and I felt so weird. I hadn’t been there yet. And now I was walking in to see my boyfriend. Mark spotted me and waved me over. He kissed my cheek quickly. “Hey babe! Glad you came. However, not glad you brought this loser...” he pointed to his sister and laughed. I shot him a dirty look. Leslie seemed unfazed.

“Mark, be polite. Leslie was nice enough to come over here with me so I didn’t have to walk alone.”

Leslie rebutted, “No, no. He’s teasing. You don’t have to defend me. But thanks, Kathleen. Good to know you’ve got my back. Now, we’re going to find Michelle’s man...” And they wandered off.

Mark hugged me. “Hey,” he got serious. “Leslie and I tease. It’s okay. I know she was looking out for you. I told her to do so. I didn’t want you getting swept up by some attractive Gamma Zeta over there.”

He was being kind of pushy, but kind of sweet. I guess he was just really drunk. I wasn’t going to analyze it too much. He took me around to his friends. “You’ve met Rich...” he nodded.

Rich smiled. “Hey, try and get Yvonne over here, okay?” I laughed and nodded. He was just so sweet. I loved it.

Then there were a series of very drunk, rambunctious boys I didn’t bother to remember. Suddenly, a tall, blonde haired guy walked up. He smiled at Mark.

Mark nodded. “Kathleen, this is my sister’s boyfriend, Luke.” I shook my head.

“Oh wow, Luke. Nice to meet you. I’m sorry, I didn’t know Leslie was dating anyone.” I just kept shaking my head.

“Yeah, we’ve been together for two years. She’s been a real basket case lately, so I’ve been thinking about dumping her.”

I just nodded and told Mark to take me to the kitchen. I turned to him once we were away from the party. “Luke sucks.” I said aloud. And just then, I saw Leslie’s eyes fall on me and cock her head.

Civil Unity

Candace and I were actually becoming civil. She'd asked me to lunch twice. And we'd gone to the mall together one afternoon. It was nice. I mean, we weren't on the fast track to being besties, but it was nice to know that we were friends. And I didn't have to avoid her like the plague.


She told me the history of the Jarrett character over lunch one day at Maki Fresh. His dad and her dad were business partners. He was the cool older guy. For years they'd been around each other for work things and family gatherings. Their families were super close. One night at a Christmas cocktail party he told her that she'd turned into "a ten." I'm sorry, if a guy told me that, I'd laugh and walk off. But that's the difference between her and me, I suppose. They snuck off and hooked up in the back of Santa's sleigh in someone's front yard. Y'all--I can't make this stuff up!!! Anyway, he started pursuing her pretty hotly for several weeks.


She thought everything was coming up roses, when he stopped responding to her texts. He stopped calling. She even saw him out once and he acted like he didn't see her. He finally grew a pair and told her that he actually had a girlfriend, and he was really happy with his girlfriend. And, to add insult to injury, he told her she was a terrible kisser. Like what kind of jerk says that stuff?


Anyway, she's still under his spell. Even now. When he's pulled this stunt twice. It just breaks my heart. She's not the kindest girl I've ever met, but she doesn't deserve that. At all. No one does.


One night we were watching My Best Friend's Wedding and she looked at me. "I'm just so jealous of people who have found their other. Like you. Mark is yours. Kimmy has Michael. And hell, Even Julianne has George. I've got a box of Sour Worms."


I shook my head. "No. You have friends. You will find a guy, it just takes time. Boys are not the end all be all. Sure, it sucks when you see people getting attention you want, but you wouldn't want their person. You've got to go find your person. Go search it out. Make mistakes. Find guys who are jerks. That way you can really appreciate the super sweet ones. It sounds ridiculous, but you have to have some bad to appreciate the good. Otherwise you might pass up something really awesome."


She sighed. "Kathleen, please stop giving such good advice. It makes me feel really bad about where I am in my own self actualization."


I laughed to myself. That's funny. She thinks I'm self actualized. What does she know? I'm still afraid to ask the guy next to me in English comp for the notes I missed last week while fighting a bad case of the Monday's in Mark's arms.


It's funny how other people see you. It really is.

Candy and Cupcakes

Candace finally opened up to me. Jarrett was a boy she liked all through high school. He took her virginity only to tell her that he actually had a girlfriend. He was crappy. And Candace was under his trap. When she saw him in French class he told her how he missed her. And they began seeing each other again. Well, true to form-he told her that she wasn’t what he “needed” and that they were better off as friends.

Funny how that works, don’t you think? Friends? I don’t want to be friends with a jerk who lies and cheats on his girlfriend. I don’t want that. Why should anyone? Why do guys use that stupid logic? Why do they think that answer is okay? Why are boys SO STUPID? Why do they tell their sisters they’ve had sex with a girl pledging her sorority? Why? Oh my god. Why?

Mark had called approximately 78 times since last night when I left him in tears. Candace and I just sat around talking and crying until we’d worn ourselves out. As luck would have it, I had to see Mark at lab the next day. I just wanted a reprieve, but it wasn’t going to happen.

I woke up ready for class, but I had ugly, cry eyes. I was never going to be a pretty crier. It wasn’t in the cards. It’s about the ONLY thing Julia Roberts and I have in common.  I put on as much makeup as I could and hoped that I could claim bags under my eyes were due to an all-nighter and not tears.

It took a lot of courage for me to go to lab. I couldn’t manage to think what I would say or do when I saw Mark. I wanted to hit him, yell at him, throw things at his head. I wouldn’t do any of those things, but they all seemed super gratifying in my head.

I stood outside the classroom, pacing. I was trying to get up the nerve to walk in there. As I was walking back and forth, I heard a small voice say, “Hey there.”

My stomach dropped. I wanted to cry and throw up all at the same time. I turned around and there he stood. He was holding a bad of sour gummy worms. “These are for you. Sort of a peace offering.” He extended his arm, giving me the candy.

“Thanks.” I wouldn’t look him in the eye. I walked into the classroom, him on my coat tails. As I sat down, I didn’t say anything to him. Luckily the professor started the pre-lab lecture as soon as I got settled. Unfortunately, those last about 10 minutes. I knew my luck would soon wear out.

During the actual lab work, when Mark tried to talk to me about us, I would tell him “not now” or “we can talk about this later.” He would just sigh and nod. I knew he was trying, but I was just so mad. He didn’t have a right to tell his family, a girl who I was trying to impress, that I had slept with him. It wasn’t okay. I didn’t appreciate it. And I wasn’t going to let him think it was something I’d let ride.

As class was winding down and we were putting up our materials, I knew I was out of time. Mark looked at me pitifully. “Hey, can we go somewhere? How about O’Henry’s? We can go sit outside.”

He was trying. He knew I loved O’Henry’s cupcakes. And I loved downtown Homewood. He was trying. “Sure.” I gave him a flat look.

He plucked up my hand and sweetly led me to his car. In the car, he began to talk as he put the car in drive. “Kathleen, I’m sorry.” He paused, waiting for me to say something. I didn’t. “I know I broke your trust, and I’m sorry. I have never been in a situation where my sister and my girlfriend get along as well as you and Leslie do. It made me think it was okay to share things with her that I would share with my friends.”

I stopped him. “No, it’s not like that. I was trying to win over your sister to be a Beta. I was trying to make a good impression. You don’t think that you saying that I slept with you during the first week of class was a bit of a misstep?”

He nodded. “I was happy. I wasn’t thinking. Sweetie, I think you are gorgeous, lovely, smart, sweet, and just really fantastic. I just wanted everyone to know how happy I am with you.”

He said am. It struck me. “Am, as in you still are? Even after this? Even though I’m furious with you?”

“Yes.” He laughed as if the question were preposterous. “Believe it or not, I anticipated us having a fight. I anticipated it being my fault. And I knew I’d still want you if you’d still have me.”

We reached the coffee shop and got out. He told me to sit on the sidewalk and he’d get us some iced chais and cupcakes. As I sat waiting, I made friends with a cute English Bulldog puppy sitting near me. His grunty little nose was just adorable. I almost forgot what I was at the coffee shop for when Mark plopped down in front of me.

Mark took a sip of his iced latte. “So, what do I need to do to fix this? Can I fix it?”

I looked at him solemnly. “I don’t think this can be fixed.” I sighed. I had thought of this a lot. I didn’t want him to tell anything else to his sister. I didn’t want her to know this happened. I just wanted to wash my hands of the whole ordeal. But after all this, could I forgive him?

He nodded sadly. “I guess I knew that. I just, can you not give up on me yet? Can we make this work? I’m sorry. I am. I just want to know that I didn’t screw this up too soon. I missed you all night last night and all morning. It sucked. I hated knowing you were mad. I hated knowing I was the reason you were crying. I want to have the chance to leave a better lasting impression.”

I grabbed his hand. “I don’t think you can get rid of me quite that easily.” I smiled, and he laughed with relief. “You make me happy. Even when you make me furious."

Misery sure does love company

Mark’s dad arrived at the door in a huge, black, luxury SUV. Mr. Hart quickly jumped out of the car, “Kathleen! What a pleasure!” He seemed genuinely excited to see me. He smiled widely, and reached out his arms to hug me.

Mark and I sat in the large vehicle’s third Row. His mom and dad in the front seats, and his sister at alone in the middle row, talking to her parents mostly.

Mark leaned into me, “Sorry, I thought you said you couldn’t make it?” He was bewildered, but not upset.

“Yvonne and Ree made me come. Not that I didn’t want to, but I didn’t want to flake on them. So, thank them for this...” I motioned my hands out towards his sister and parents talking.

He cracked a smile. “Look, Mom and Dad will love you. Don’t you even worry.” He pulled me into his chest.

I wish I could give you details about dinner, I just don’t remember them. I know we went to a small Italian restaurant. I sat between Mark and his Mom. I know that whenever I got nervous, Mark would put his hand on my thigh to calm me. I know that I didn’t spill anything. I know that Leslie laughed at my jokes in earnest. I know Mr. Hart smiled at me with bright eyes. I know Mrs. Hart hugged me like she meant it. I know it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.  It felt like they really wanted me there. It felt like I was included. Like I said, I can’t really remember much of the events, I just remember the feelings. It was so strange, because sometimes in my own family I can feel like an odd man out. I didn’t feel like that with the Harts. I was a part of their unit. I was a member. They did everything to make me comfortable and included and I totally appreciated their effort.

After they dropped us all off on campus, I walked with Mark to his dorm. “Mark, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” He smiled kindly.

“Why did you want me to meet you parents so quickly? Because I really like you, but I’m not ready for you to meet my parents.”

He laughed. “Leslie was the biggest imposer of this. She’s wanted them to meet you since she found out the night we slept together.”

I spun on my heels. “YOU TOLD HER?!” I was so furious, embarrassed, confused. Just all these emotions.

He balked. “Well, sure. She asked who I’d been spending time with since I got on campus. I mentioned you. She salivated. A few days later she brought you up. I told her I was smitten since we consummated things.”

“CONSUMATED?! Is that how you view this? You can be such an ass!” We were on the edge of the dorm quad. I’m sure people heard the scene I was making.

“Calm down!” He hushed me. “I really like you. I was excited to tell people. Sorry that I actually thought it was a big deal. Like you didn’t tell Yvonne and Harriett?”

I was boiling. That wasn’t the same. And I didn’t even care to explain why he was totally wrong. “Look,” I snapped. “My dorm is right here. Call me when your head magically dislodges from your damn ass!” I stormed off. Tears starting to well in my eyes.

As I walked in the dorm, my eyes just flushed with tears. It hit me like a wall. I was ugly, terrible hiccupping sobs. I didn’t even notice when I walked in, but Candace was sitting on her bed. She also had the ugly cry face on. We saw each other with our nasty, snotty, ruddy faces and immediately hugged each other. We sat on her bed just crying and nodding not able to formulate words. Until she finally broke the silence. "Today sucked." And it started the whole theatrical display over again.

Dinner for Schmucks

My first pledge class meeting was so overwhelming. All these super anxious girls in a room. Excitedness just bubbled out of everyone’s face. We were all so wound up we couldn’t even shut up.

Finally the New Member Coordinator, we affectionately called her Mom, stood in front of us in the chapter room, silence spread. “Okay Beta-Women-to-Be, y’all are about to have the most fun 8 week pledgeship and I’m going to help you every step of the way to initiation!” And just like that the room erupted.

I was sitting next to Yvonne and her friend, Gwen. I knew several of the other girls, but none well enough to sit by them. Hopefully it’ll get better as I get more engrained in the group. I just have a hard time going out of my way to meet people. Luckily, I had a 45 girls my year who would hopefully be eager to my friend. We got a list of events we were scheduled to be at. We weren’t “made” to go to anything, but we had to have so many activity points before we could go to formal. Points came from chapter meeting, volunteering, sisterhood events, swaps, and other things.

Rachel, the new member mom, told us our first swap would be the following Thursday at the Gamma Zeta house. The GZ boys had a bit of a wild persona. Two or three of their pledges were in my class, and they were rowdy. And that’s putting it politely.

I was excited to experience my first swap though. I mean, I had seen it in the movies, and it looked all so exciting, impressive, and wild. I wanted to be a part of that. Yvonne leaned over to me while I was deep in thought about what would happen at this mixer only days away, “Earth to Kathleen! Can you help me find a date to our pledge party next Saturday?”

I looked at her. “Allen?” The topic had clearly changed to our pledge party, and I of course didn’t follow it. Pledge Party was a casual dance each chapter had in the first month or so of school. It was usually somewhere low key, like a hotel in town. It wasn’t as big of a deal as formal, which was usually held at big venues like a wedding might be.

She scowled. “We haven’t talked since bid day. He called me two nights ago plastered saying he missed me in a voicemail. It was weird. On to the next one...”

I laughed. “Well, Mark has this friend at Theta. Rich. He’s a total doll. Want me to see if Mark thinks he’ll be interested? He’s also even cuter than my boyfriend, which is saying a lot. Since we know he’s GORGEOUS!” I couldn’t keep a straight face and bust out laughing.

Rachel yelped out “Girls! Composure is a large part of being a Beta! Please take this seriously!”

Sure thing, Mom.

As luck would have it, my phone buzzed right then, causing an even bigger scene. I quickly silenced the text alert, and went back to paying attention without checking it. My cheeks were hot red. I couldn’t even focus. What a mess.

Finally the meeting let out. Ree was still in her meeting for another 30 minutes, so Yvonne and I hung out in her room until we were supposed to go out for Mexican. I finally remembered to check my phone.

Hey! I know it’s late notice, but are you free for dinner? We’re getting out at 8:30 tonight.

Sorry, honey. I’ve got girls night plans. I sighed as I sent the text. I really did want to see Mark. Aside from occasionally staying at his place, I hadn’t seen him much since he pledged. They just kept them so busy.

Yvonne heard me. “What’s up?”

“Mark asked me to dinner. I just miss him.”

“So go! I’ve got Ree. You need to get SOME!”

I laughed. I wouldn’t leave her in the lurch like that. Just then, Ree walked in my door. Yvonne quickly spoke to her, “Tell Kathleen to go on a date with Mark tonight. We can wait, can’t we?”

Ree jumped and squealed and clapped. “You’ve GOT to go!” She then pushed me out the door.

I walked to Mark’s room and knocked. No answer. He must have not made it back in yet. Just then I heard a laugh of a girl in the boys hall. I looked back. There was Mark. With Leslie. And his mom.

“Kathleen!” Leslie wailed. “So glad you could make it! We’re just headed out to dinner now! My dad is bringing the car around!”

I shrugged and smiled awkwardly as Mark winked. “Happy to see you, Honey.” He hugged me and kissed my cheek. “Let’s get going. Dad’s impatient.” And with that, we walked out to the car. To meet Mark’s dad.

***Sorry about the delay today, y'all! I'm almost back to my old, annoyingly adorable self! Thanks for your well wishes. I hope the wait was worth it! You guys are the best! :)

Lee***