Candy and Cupcakes

Candace finally opened up to me. Jarrett was a boy she liked all through high school. He took her virginity only to tell her that he actually had a girlfriend. He was crappy. And Candace was under his trap. When she saw him in French class he told her how he missed her. And they began seeing each other again. Well, true to form-he told her that she wasn’t what he “needed” and that they were better off as friends.

Funny how that works, don’t you think? Friends? I don’t want to be friends with a jerk who lies and cheats on his girlfriend. I don’t want that. Why should anyone? Why do guys use that stupid logic? Why do they think that answer is okay? Why are boys SO STUPID? Why do they tell their sisters they’ve had sex with a girl pledging her sorority? Why? Oh my god. Why?

Mark had called approximately 78 times since last night when I left him in tears. Candace and I just sat around talking and crying until we’d worn ourselves out. As luck would have it, I had to see Mark at lab the next day. I just wanted a reprieve, but it wasn’t going to happen.

I woke up ready for class, but I had ugly, cry eyes. I was never going to be a pretty crier. It wasn’t in the cards. It’s about the ONLY thing Julia Roberts and I have in common.  I put on as much makeup as I could and hoped that I could claim bags under my eyes were due to an all-nighter and not tears.

It took a lot of courage for me to go to lab. I couldn’t manage to think what I would say or do when I saw Mark. I wanted to hit him, yell at him, throw things at his head. I wouldn’t do any of those things, but they all seemed super gratifying in my head.

I stood outside the classroom, pacing. I was trying to get up the nerve to walk in there. As I was walking back and forth, I heard a small voice say, “Hey there.”

My stomach dropped. I wanted to cry and throw up all at the same time. I turned around and there he stood. He was holding a bad of sour gummy worms. “These are for you. Sort of a peace offering.” He extended his arm, giving me the candy.

“Thanks.” I wouldn’t look him in the eye. I walked into the classroom, him on my coat tails. As I sat down, I didn’t say anything to him. Luckily the professor started the pre-lab lecture as soon as I got settled. Unfortunately, those last about 10 minutes. I knew my luck would soon wear out.

During the actual lab work, when Mark tried to talk to me about us, I would tell him “not now” or “we can talk about this later.” He would just sigh and nod. I knew he was trying, but I was just so mad. He didn’t have a right to tell his family, a girl who I was trying to impress, that I had slept with him. It wasn’t okay. I didn’t appreciate it. And I wasn’t going to let him think it was something I’d let ride.

As class was winding down and we were putting up our materials, I knew I was out of time. Mark looked at me pitifully. “Hey, can we go somewhere? How about O’Henry’s? We can go sit outside.”

He was trying. He knew I loved O’Henry’s cupcakes. And I loved downtown Homewood. He was trying. “Sure.” I gave him a flat look.

He plucked up my hand and sweetly led me to his car. In the car, he began to talk as he put the car in drive. “Kathleen, I’m sorry.” He paused, waiting for me to say something. I didn’t. “I know I broke your trust, and I’m sorry. I have never been in a situation where my sister and my girlfriend get along as well as you and Leslie do. It made me think it was okay to share things with her that I would share with my friends.”

I stopped him. “No, it’s not like that. I was trying to win over your sister to be a Beta. I was trying to make a good impression. You don’t think that you saying that I slept with you during the first week of class was a bit of a misstep?”

He nodded. “I was happy. I wasn’t thinking. Sweetie, I think you are gorgeous, lovely, smart, sweet, and just really fantastic. I just wanted everyone to know how happy I am with you.”

He said am. It struck me. “Am, as in you still are? Even after this? Even though I’m furious with you?”

“Yes.” He laughed as if the question were preposterous. “Believe it or not, I anticipated us having a fight. I anticipated it being my fault. And I knew I’d still want you if you’d still have me.”

We reached the coffee shop and got out. He told me to sit on the sidewalk and he’d get us some iced chais and cupcakes. As I sat waiting, I made friends with a cute English Bulldog puppy sitting near me. His grunty little nose was just adorable. I almost forgot what I was at the coffee shop for when Mark plopped down in front of me.

Mark took a sip of his iced latte. “So, what do I need to do to fix this? Can I fix it?”

I looked at him solemnly. “I don’t think this can be fixed.” I sighed. I had thought of this a lot. I didn’t want him to tell anything else to his sister. I didn’t want her to know this happened. I just wanted to wash my hands of the whole ordeal. But after all this, could I forgive him?

He nodded sadly. “I guess I knew that. I just, can you not give up on me yet? Can we make this work? I’m sorry. I am. I just want to know that I didn’t screw this up too soon. I missed you all night last night and all morning. It sucked. I hated knowing you were mad. I hated knowing I was the reason you were crying. I want to have the chance to leave a better lasting impression.”

I grabbed his hand. “I don’t think you can get rid of me quite that easily.” I smiled, and he laughed with relief. “You make me happy. Even when you make me furious."