Tough Love

“Kenny,” I pleaded, “this wasn’t some scheme to make you mad. This wasn’t premediated. I didn’t know what I wanted. But when I saw Mark things changed. I changed.”

He huffed, “And you didn’t think to tell me?!”

“Isn’t that what I’m doing now?” I was kind of over his behavior. “Look, I’m sorry. But us continuing to talk is only going to make matters worse. I’m sorry, I really am. Goodbye.”

I was sitting alone in my room after hanging out the phone. Kenny and I had verbally assaulted each other for the past 45 minutes. I was exhausted, so I took a nap. It had been a real draining day. And it wasn’t even dinner time yet!

I woke up to Mark calling me. “Hey...” I spoke wearily, still half asleep.

“Hey.” He was cautious. Like he had bad news. “Umm, just wondering how you are.”

“Fine.” I was short. Mainly because I was still waking up.

“Kathleen, where are you?”

“My room...”

“Oh thank god!” His tone changed. “I hadn’t heard from you after you left to take Kenny’s call and I was so afraid you’d left.”

I laughed. “I know I’m indecisive, but geez! Have a little faith!”

“I do.” Was all he could offer. I hoped I wasn’t carrying around the backlash from my indiscretion forever. 

“Well, I need to take a shower. I’ll talk to you later?”

“That’s why I was calling. Do you want to go see my parents tonight? They miss you.”

“They probably hate me now.”

He sighed. “Nah. I didn’t exactly tell them we broke up. I said you and I got into a fight about something stupid, and we’d decided to take a cooling off. But that I knew we’d work it out.”

Now I really felt like shit. I’d told practically everyone that we were done. I was just so hurt, upset, and worried. “Are they at their house or at the hospital?”

“They’re at the hospital. Dad will come home Sunday, we hope. So I’m going to stay at my parent’s house this weekend and make sure everything’s ready. You’re welcome to join me.”

“I would very much like that.”

“Okay then, get ready. I’m leaving in an hour. Dad can’t have visitors past 7.”

We arrive at the hospital, and his parents didn’t seem the slightest bit mad, or even confused, by my presence. They just welcomed me like they always had. Both his parents were in very high spirits. I tried to act as normal as possible, but I was still kind of like a skittish cat. It came time for Mark and me to pack up and head home. “All right, well we’re going to get the house ready for you two. We will see y’all tomorrow, okay?” We hugged and kissed them goodbye, and we were on our way to Mark’s house.

As we pulled up, I suddenly got very nervous. I was anxious about being in his parents’ house again. I mean this was where he told me he loved me for the first time. I just had a whirlwind of a day, and I wasn’t prepared. I sat in the passenger seat, unmoving. Thinking about how much of a jerk I had been, how much I ruined, and if I’d ever get it back, fully.

Mark didn’t notice my catatonic state until it came time for us to get our bags out the trunk, and I remained sitting in the passenger seat. He knocked on the window, and I rolled it down.

“Care to get out?” He asked playfully. All I could do was shake my head. “What’s wrong? Is your foot asleep?” I often sat on my feet in the car, and sometimes when I got out, I looked like a baby fawn trying to walk for the first time. I shook my head again. Only this time I began to cry. He opened the door and looked at me. “Kathleen, I try not to be tough love with you, because you’re not very receptive. But here it is. Either you figure this out, or we move on. I can’t have you falling apart. I can’t say that I’ll never hold what you did against you, but right now, I don’t care. Let’s just focus on moving forward. Because if you can’t, I’ll have to move on without you. I’m not saying I want to, but it’s what needs to happen. So your call. Are we doing this together or am I going this alone?”

I slowly wiped my eyes and stood up. “Let’s go, then.” I stated matter-of-factly.

After we got settled in his house and put our bags up, we went to the living room to watch TV. At first, we sat on opposite ends of the couch from each other. Then, he inched a little closer, knowing I wouldn’t be the one to give in. After about twenty minutes, he pulled me onto his chest, and kissed my forehead. I began to relax a little. As I scratched his leg, and he rubbed my arm, I had this overwhelming sense of want.

I rolled over onto my back, looking up at him, and nodded. He leaned down and kissed me. He quickly picked me up, placed me in his lap, facing him. We kissed, hugged, and laughed like that for a long time. Until he looked at me seriously, “It’s time for me to put you to bed, isn’t it?” I slowly nodded.

He walked me up to his bed, and we fell in love all over again. We didn’t get out of that bed until Sunday. And when his mom called to say that his dad wouldn’t be released due to low blood pressure, we went right back until we left for class Monday morning.